Sadly, i am stuck inside all day today. Like i've posted before the weather cannot decide what it wants to do. Its insanely windy today and the rain is coming down like its going to flood this whole little town. Insaannee. THerefore im going to stay inside all day....i need a new hobby.

Im going to texas next wednesday and am going to be gone until Sunday! I cannot wait. I've been in a little rut lately so its going to be good to have a change of scenery...and weather! apparently its been in the 80's and sunny. um lets just say i CANNOT wait! Last time i went to Texas to see phillip..it was a bust! a bust in the sense that the one person i went to see ended up not being able to be there. SO this time i am really excited to go and get to be with the one i actually go there to see. It should be exciting. We are staying at a cute little bed and breakfast with my mom and his mom..and are trying to plan some stuff that will be exciting for all of us. ....

besides all those ramblings this is something that the Lord has been laying on my heart lately and its just been something i've been thinking on throughout the day. during out sunday bible study we have been going through the book "instruments in the hands of the redeemer" and its been such a GOOD study. the lord has shown me so much of my heart through it and its been quite humbling to say the leaste. as we were going through, we read psalm 37:4 and its been something i've been thinking on since.

"delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart".

This verse at first glance may make one look at the lord as though he was some genie that if you love the lord he is going to give you everything you could ever want. But its so not that...its not that he is going to fulfill all these things that i already want..and all these things that i think i must have, but instead he is going to mold my desires and lay onto my heart the desires themselves.

in my heart i know there are things that i want..things i dream of, and honestly those things aren't bad. But its when i am willing to lay those things down with my hands open to the lord. my hands open to say that i am choosing to find my delight in the lord first and formost,and that these things that i think i want and hold onto, can be let go. when i come to him without expectations, and come to him without a list of selfish wants, only hoping to delight myself in the goodness that he is, i find that the very things of my heart change and the things i once thought i wanted begin to look so much different. They begin to reflect the work that has gone on in my heart. This work is changing my desire for things that will only bring delight to my self..and is molding my heart to finding my delight in him alone.

we were made to worship Christ alone...and the very time i try to pursue things apart from him i am going against what i was created to do..i am living a lie, living falsely in my world that i am trying to make. The only way that i am going to be able to truly find satisfaction and the only way that i am ever going to be content is when I and We find our delight in Christ alone. when I am delighting in him he is going to change those desires in my heart towards things that already reflect his will for my life and is going to change my desires to things that he will and already has accomlished.

I'm learning where to find my delight. I'm learning to trust the what the lord will's for me is best. theres contentment in the truths that he is enough, and that as i daily take delight in who he is, my heart is being molded and changed to have desires that will reflect my heart being layed open before him