This little life of mine

celebrating another year of life!

2012-02-02T23:17:00.000-08:00

hey guys...guess what..Im now currently experiencing life as a 22 year old. Not much is different...i still look like a pre teen, I'm still inches shorter than most adults, and I still sometimes live vicariously through my carefree days as a youngster(an even younger youngster than my current self). But still 22 has treated me great so far!

I have to admit this birthday was a little more special than most because i was able to spend it with my boy. For the past 2.5 years we have been together neither of us have ever been able to share our birthdays together. He was either deployed to Iraq....or i was in hawaii(whoops sorry phil....or something came up, i like to blame it on the Army :) . But this year, even though he is currently deployed in Afghanistan, his R&R was able to fall on my birthday! It was such a treat....it was probably more exciting for me because i made I'm tag along with me to my oober girlie day filled with lots of yummy treats..and lots of shopping. I tried to make it up to him by looking at some semi-manly stuff while out in about...but still he was a trooper and let me do my birthday girlie thing.

That evening we headed out to dinner with my family, phil, and 2 of my close friends. We ate at one of my favorite restaurants called Galletos in downtown modesto. Delish as always! it was so nice to get to spend the day with all the people i love most and celebrate another year that the lord has blessed me with! cannot wait to see what this year brings.

P.S....Phil, you've earned a gold medal for beating me at the "be there for one of our birthdays contest" ....i would like to be mad at you for your awesome factor, and my lack there of....but now every time i look in the mirror and see diamonds in my ears, and really awesome skin(thanks clarisonic) i feel convicted, and change my attitude! haha dangit

home

2012-01-26T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! sorry for my lack of posts as of late! I have been kind of occupied :) ....and here's why!

I woke up last monday with the craziest feelings in my little stomach. It was a mix between butterflies and knots...you know those feelings your get when you are about to go on a first date. This was my first date that I've had in you know 7 months with this boy i kinda like. I woke up,layed in bed... not knowing what the heck to wear...what was it going to be like when i first saw him again....questioning if it going to be awkward...or would things just start back up just like it was when he left.

i finally rolled out of bed, and started getting ready for my day. i did the usual makeup and hair routine and then stumbled over to my closet...which ended up being the hardest part haha. what the heck was i supposed to wear...a dress would look like i was trying too hard....but just ratty jeans and a crappy t-shirt would make me look like a ragamuffin...i needed to find a happy medium. finally i just decided to go with the safe casual...yet nicely accessorized look..because well, that was the last thing i tried on when i finally got sick of changing clothes!

my two good friends met me at my house and we piled into the car and headed to the airport...stoppping to get coffee at first. I was still so nervous inside, like a giddy little girl . that 1.5 hour drive to Oakland international airport seemed to take forever, every little bit of traffic seemed to add hours to the drive. then we got to the airport and it felt pretty surreal.

for 7 long months i had been waiting for that very day and it was so weird that it was finally here. i didn't have to worry any more that phillip was at war...i didn't have to miss him anymore...he was just minutes away from stepping off the plane.

Because he is military i was able to get a gate pass and sit in the terminal and be able to greet him right as he got off the plane...which was so nice! I made it through security super quick and i make it to the gate super easily. then i waited....and waited. The little man at the desk would come on the speaker several times and say how many more minutes the plane was delayed and every time i spoke the feelings in my tummy were intensified.

Finally the plane landed...and taxied to its destination. our wait was over. The door opened, and within a couple minutes i saw that tall handsome boy in uniform again! He quickly came over to me and gave me that big hug that i had missed so very much, and all those feelings in my stomach instantly went away! Things were just like they were 7 months ago, and i was instantly reminded of how much that long wait had been worth it.

we walked out of the terminal and met up with his family where he was showered with more hugs and cheers! ....we then headed for In and Out...and filled our stomachs with all the goodness it had to offer!

This past week has been so so great. It has been refreshing to just get to be together again even if it is just for a short time. I've been so reminded of the Lord's faithfulness through this and can only thank him for all these blessings he has given the both of us! Phil has 6 days left and i am trying to make the very most of them while i can! I have many more stories and pictures to share with ya'll so i will get on that soon

Product obsession

2012-01-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

If you guys have not tried Ojon's restorative hair treatment you must. After digging in my drawers this evening i stumbled across that good ol friend of mine....that little jar that turns my hair into those luscious locks that i love so deeply!
here's what you do..... you just scoop out a pea sized clump out of the jar ...you then rub it between your palms until it turns into a warm oil. once it has become oil you distribute it throughout your hair. I like to focus on my ends since thats the area that gets the most damage. I also like to comb through my hair afterwards in order to make sure that it is spread evenly throughout my hair. The jar says to leave it on for 20 min or more. I normally apply it to my hair...put it up into a top knot for a few hours (your hair will look like a greasy mess so i don't recommend leaving the house with it in your hair fyi) so yes, once you feel like you have left it on long enough....rinse it out...and follow with your normal shampoo and conditioner routine. .... Once your hair is dry you will find that you now have wonderfully shiny healthy looking locks!
if you guys try it out you won't be disappointed i promise :)
YAY for pretty hair

life via my iphone

2012-01-13T13:37:00.000-08:00

1) yes our christmas tree is still up, and 2 i have been obsessed with juicing since getting one for christmas. this is probably a mix of apples, carrots, and spinach ( delish i swear)

2) day with the macwilliams...brynn loving my crutches

3) we basically have the best sunsets ever

4) stumptown coffee in the form of a french press= heaven

5) i love driving into town when the sun is setting!

6) woke up to find this creature lurking in my bed

7) spent my sunday with these little monkeys after church!

8) got to go Visit cass at the hospital sunday....YOU ARE LOOKING GREAT

9) um yeah just a little excited about this.

10) My nasty foot after getting my cast off finally!!!

11) munchkin love

12) one of the joys of being a youth leader....watching our kids play intense games every wednesday

13) sweet austynn girl

14) New hair

2 days!!

2012-01-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

This photo was taken around 2.5 years ago when phil was coming home from Iraq. I remember that day clearly...phil was one of my best friends. During his deployment we talked maybe twice and exchanged a couple letters here and there just to catch up. The day he was home, i wasn't busy and me and my other friends were home so we decided to go to the airport and welcome home out friend! Who know that that very R&R from Iraq would change my life so much....it was that very 2 weeks that i realized that phillip was no longer just a friend...but that it could very much turn into something more, and it did.
Here i am over 2 years later crazy in love with the kid...and am dying for him to come home! its so weird how much stuff can change! He is coming home in 2 days and i am so beyond excited! ....I think my little yellow sign i was holding ended up being right after all...i do love my soldier

if seven is a lucky number

2012-01-10T15:35:00.000-08:00

...then i would have to agree! Today marks the 7 month mark since phillip left for afghanistan...which means in 3-4 days i will get to see him and give him the biggest hug EVER...in other news of my little life.. tomorrow i go in to get this giant pink cast hacked off my foot, which brings me lots of joy also. I can't wait to shave, take a shower without a plastic bag attached to my leg...and the thought of being able to walk around without crutches makes me giddy like a child on christmas morning. call me easily pleased...but idk its pretty exciting. so thank you 7th month mark..you are bringing me lots of good things :)

!!!!!!a week!!!!!

2012-01-07T14:56:00.000-08:00

Excitement is brewing hardcore today! Phil comes home from Afghanistan for his R&R in a week...thats right A WEEK! I can hardly stand it...and my patience is starting to wear thin...lord give me some patience please..k thanks. its been over 220 days since i've seen this boy that i kinda like(ok love) a whole stinking lot. I guess i can handle waiting 7 more days, just maybe.
so here's to hoping these next few days fly by quickly...and then once he is here...lets hope they really slow down so he doesn't have to leave again so soon!

cassie's big heart

2012-01-06T23:38:00.000-08:00

"Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples"

As Thursday rolled around i woke up with a knot in my throat, and a strange feeling in my stomach..One of my best friends was going in for open heart surgery, and i knew it wasn't going to be a simple procedure! I Have been so incredibly encouraged by cassie from the start of her knowing she was going to have to go in for surgery (you can read more about that here) she has trusted in the Lord so completely and has had such a great attitude about the whole thing. I could only have the same courage that she has shown.
Thursday morning i woke up around 5:50am and headed to Oaklands Children's Hospital with 2 of my other friends to be there to support Cassie and the rest of their family. When we got there i was so blown away by the amount of support that was being shown to Cass. I looked across the crowded cafeteria and saw so many faces that loved cassie and were there bright and early to pray and gather around and lift one another up in their time of need. as the hours passed many more kept trickling in...and it wasn't long till we had the whole back of the cafeteria taken up by people who truly knew what it is to love.
If there's one thing i love about our church, it is our Love for one another. No matter what is going on in your life...whether good times, or not so great times, there are people who will at the drop of a hat be there for you. They are people who Pray fervently , and are there to encourage you with word of truth...in times when our sight is clouded and we need reminded of the God we serve and the God that Loves us. This love that was shown for cassie this week has spoken volumes to me and i think for everyone that was also in that wrestles cafeteria...you couldn't help but wonder who all these happy people were; who had smiles on their faces even though they were dealing with some really heavy stuff. Its those smiles that can only be put on because you know that the Lord is in control of all things, and that his ways are far better than our ways. Its the smile that can only be put on when you are surrounded by your brothers and sisters in christ, and its that smile that you can put on when you know that you have soo many people praying and that the lord hears our prayers.

I am so happy to report that Cassie came through surgery like a champ. All the complications that they were worried about did not happen...the surgery also was done quicker than they had anticipated (5 hrs instead of 6.5) they were also able to find a hole in her heart that they hadn't seen before and were able to patch that up while they were in there. Please continue to pray for cassie during her recovery process. that there wouldn't be any complications and that she would heal quickly. Also that she would be able to get some rest, as well as her family.

Cassie i love you and i am SOOO very proud of you, and am proud to call you my friend! you are amazing and i cannot wait to see what the lord is going to do in your life through this! <3 <3

(finding out the good news from the surgeon )

thats the face of two very happy parents. love you john and denel

amazing men of god

me and my ugly crying face while crying tears of joy

our pastor steve and his wife Rhonda with cassie right after surgery. looking good case

case getting some kisses from her daddy.

2012 nice to meet you

2012-01-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hi lovelies,
Welcome to 2012..how does it feel? I've been waiting for this year to roll around for the past 7 months, and in case ya'll haven't been keeping track as closely as i have...my boy comes home in 11 days, thats right 11. and to say that i am a little excited, would be a far cry from the truth...im like thrilled to the highest degree!

I welcomed in this new year far less extravagantly than i had imagined but it was none the less just as wonderful! Instead of going to a party surrounded by lots of people, loud noises, and craziness, i spent a quiet evening with 4 of my favorite people....2 of which are under the age of 5. We spent the evening sipping on sparkling cider, lounging in yoga pants, laughing, and watching movies. After a while we realized that maybe, just maybe we were getting close to hitting the Oh so anticipated 12:00....so we looked and realized that we missed it by 20 whole minutes....we looked at each other, half heartedly said happy new year....then continued on watching The Help. It was a very chill evening, but it made my heart happy...to enter in this new year with some of my favorite people, and just relax!

I don't know what this new year holds, but i am excited...im excited to see what the lord is going to do in my life, and those around me. Im excited to see our new church building project come to fruition..to see it filled to the brim by new believers who have decided to give themselves to the lord, I'm excited for our youth that we lead every wednesday evenings.... to see their love for the jesus grow and to see them excited about the things of him, Im excited for my boy to be home, and for us to be able to be together once again. Excited to see his face and make up for lost time. I'm excited for this new journey I am on and can't wait to see how it all plays out!

Fragile...must be Italian

2011-12-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Friends!
I trust you all had a wonderful christmas...i know i sure did! I love this time of year so much, my heart is so full of thanksgiving and joy...and I just feel so blessed beyond measure! I have the most amazing family, savior ..and life, and i am oh so grateful! I don't know what it is about this time of year that brings this sense of thanksgiving...i should really feel this full all year round! I think sometimes i just need a good reminder....to remember the depth of the love that Christ showed by coming on this earth in the form of a baby..to then love me enough to willingly lay himself down on that cross as he did...to be raised to life, and win that victory over the grave, that has now given me the ability to be free from my sin and shame! I often need reminders of the depth of that gift...this season has been good for that!
We celebrating the Birth of Christ this year the same way we do every year and i love it! Christmas Eve was spent opening presents and eating far too much food with everyone on my Dad's side of the family! My mom and dad spent all day preparing everything and we all scarfed it down in a matter of minutes. We also watched A Christmas Story far too many times to count (just as it should be)... there was lots of laughter, and lots of fun!
Christmas Day was a little bit different this year since it fell on a Sunday this time around. We all woke up at 7am so we could have time to open our presents before church! I loved being able to go to church on christmas and spend time worshipping the very savior who this whole day is about! After church we all headed to my Mom's side of the families house in modesto and once again ate way too much ....and got lots of goodies!
Im sad this whole christmas season is over and that i have to wait a whole year again to listen to christmas music and watch marathons of Ralphie eating soap. In Ode to Christmas here are some pictures from my christmas weekend thanks to Instagram!

holiday party with gay apparel... loved it

Oh yeah this is when i got my splint removed before my cast was put on....gross right

This is how i was woken up on christmas eve

christmas eve wouldn't be right without mom's infamous biscuits and chocolate

rocking a croc with a santa claus for our christmas party....keeping it classy as always

some of my loot i got on christmas eve from my awesome grandma

one of my favorite gifts..now all my makeup can be organized properly!

2012....whatttt?(a photo post)

2011-12-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

As this christmas season has stumbled upon us and has filled me with loads of shopping, and eating, and decorating...i almost forgot that this year is so almost over! i was tripping out today when i realized its going to be 2012 in a matter of a couple of weeks! is this crazy to anyone else? I feel like this past year has gone by so very fast...maybe a little faster than i may have hoped! I thought i would dig back into the archives and find some pictures from my favorite moments and memories from this past year! i might even share a few stories within these last few weeks of '11 that we have...but for now here are some of my favorite pics to commemorate this fantastic year that the Lord has blessed me with!

* My beautiful best friend kayla got married

* I Turned 21

* Phil and i had our "pretend" valentines day feeding ducks at the park

Kaylas surprise 21st birthday

* flew to texas to see phillip off to Afghanistan (not a fun memory but still a memory)

* Phil and i took brynn to color me mine , to paint cups. SO FUN

* That one day where my friend got stuck in a cave and had to be saved by coast guard

* That time my house got robbed and room destroyed

* wonderful San Fran trip with my best friends was great

* Brynn turned four this year

wine country with mom and friends

*sweet little Austynn came into the world

* phil and I took a wonderful trip to yoesmite where we almost got attacked by a bear ahha

* Cannot forget the Royal wedding....our party was amazing, including hats, robes, and all things classy

*Cass and I made a trip to my favorite place...Carmel by the Sea, Ca

* all the wonderful Skype dates with my wonderful boy

*finally my trip to the Tree farm with my favorite Family The Macwilliams

All cooped up!

2011-12-12T11:37:00.000-08:00

I had ankle surgery on thursday to repair an ankle injury that happened last year around this time. (you can read about it here) I thought that recovery was going to be pretty simple. Wake up from surgery go home....take a few naps ...wake up again and I was going to be good! But boy was i wrong. Who knew a surgery that took a little over 20 min to complete was going to be so stinkin painful! I woke up feeling like i had gotten my foot hacked off by an angry villain and that this so called villain put a cast on my foot just to cover to wound (but underneath that cast was something horrible) i know its just a small little incision ..but wow! I think i am just not as strong as i thought i was haha.
I also found out that i suck on crutches. I think i am more dangerous with them...i run into walls often...slip on almost every rug that covers our wood floors...and getting into my tall bed is a joke! Also simple things like taking a shower and putting clothes on can no longer be done by myself....but can only be achieved by the help of my mother! God bless her ....let me tell you it really helps having a mother who is a Registered Nurse.
As I have been sitting here hyped up on Vicodin I've been drooling over all these places i am wishing to be (thanks pinterest) . instead of being cooped up here on my parents couch....this is where i am wanting to be!

seriously soaking in that bathtub looks magical!

I realize that climbing this treehouse would be almost impossible with the state I'm in but maybe they could make me an elevator or something!

Vermont in the fall! ahh magical!

6 months down! (halfway done)

2011-12-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

(crappy Skype session )

I cannot even begin to explain how happy i am to be writing this post! why you may ask? well its because we have reached the half way point in this deployment ANNNDDD phillip is coming home next month for his R&R. that means I only have a little more than 30 days to go till i get to see him and i am so excited it hurts!
Im currently layed up from Ankle surgery ..unable to really do much of anything except sit here...this is making this whole "be patient for the next month" thing really difficult. I keep thinking of all the fun things i want to do while he's home, researching different places, and it is making me so anxious. I just really hope these next few weeks go by really fast!

Leeland goodness

2011-12-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

I've been so blessed by this band lately! i so appreciate their hearts for the lord, and how they are more about bringing honor and glory to the lord, than they are about being a "great band". you can't help but praise jesus when listening to their music. Hope some of these songs bless you as much as they have me!

( leeland introducing their song The Great Awakening, which is one of my faves...i love his heart here)

(heres the actual song)

and to save the best for last here is my absolute favorite worship song at the moment

ps all of these songs are off of their new album called "the great awakening"

my life through the eyes of my purse

2011-12-05T16:05:00.000-08:00

They say you can tell a lot about a women by what she has in her purse...my week has been slightly chaotic and so has the life of my purse. I was laughing today when it took me forever to find my cell phone in the never ending black whole that is my purse. I decided to dump it all out and "clean it out" , and possibly transition to a smaller bag, in hopes of avoiding the insane messy purse issue!
I've been moving this week ...from our girls house, back in with my parents ( ill probably write a post about that sometime later this week)....anyways because of the move, I've just kinda been throwing all of my crapp in my purse half hazzardly and without direction....this was the end result..

1) pair of vintage christian Dior Sunglasses ( they were my grannies)
2) a makeup back with no makeup in it.
3) 9 lipsticks/lipglosses....not in their appropriate bag
4) a notebook for taking notes in church
5) 2 starbucks straw wrappers....cause its so hard to throw them in the trash (not)
6) a piece torn off from my yarn wrapper...idk why
7) a pamphlet of vera wang engagement rings. ...cause me and kayla were wasting time in the mall and came across it
8) a pair of leather gloves ...for those freezing times
9) a pair of earrings that i never wore
10) a flower off of a broken headband (why?)
11) 4 Bucks
12) a post office receipt ...once again too hard to throw in the trash
13) pills from when my muscles ached like a month ago
14) a ton of coins that were in the bottom of my purse
15)and finally my iPhone....at the very bottom buried under all of this unncessesary clutter!.
.......I think I'm definitely switching to a smaller bag :)

Trees, tractors, and too much fun

2011-11-28T00:30:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time a large group of the young married from church(and other's like myself who want to go) Head up to Twaine Harte to the christmas tree farm to pick out trees and just enjoy the scenery. For some reason or another i have always had something going on those days that everyone went and was never able to go . So when Noelle asked me if i wanted to go this year i was like "oh heck yes". somehow the group this year ended up just being Me , noelle, and her family....but it was a blast.
We made many pitstops on the way (starbucks, baja fresh, taco bell, gas stations) and finally made it to the christmas tree farm around 3:30. since it closed at 4:30 we didn't have a huge amount of time to explore, but with the time that we had, we fit in a tractor ride, a walk around the huge tree lots, and scoped out the gift shop. Seriously just being up in the mountains just makes me happy, all the colors, and smells of fireplaces, and the fresh air is just so wonderful this time of year. I think i found my happy place.
After our little adventures at the tree farm we drove around twaine Harte..which is the sweetest quaint town nestled in the mountains (talk about charm) . we found the church where Noelle and her husband got married and we took pictures in front of it....and then for nastalgia's sake we ate at the restaraunt that they ate at after they got engaged. But this time they came back with 2 kids on board....and Me (fanny as I'm called by the kiddos).
We spent the day laughing, eating, taking pictures, and just being together, and it was so so much fun. Noelle, Jason, Brynn, and Austynn...thanks of for letting me tag along with you guys, you all are like family and i loved spending the day with you!

(heres some of my favorite pictures from the day)

* This looks like it could be a family christmas

card hahhaha

* we joked with jay and it looks like i could be one of his daughters

* Did i ever mention i love this kid

* The little old man at the tree farm let us take a tractor ride, so much fun!

sophia and rosie strike again

2011-11-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

I want to put these little girls in my purse and carry them with me wherever i go. They kill me with their cuteness. here's a video to put a smile on your faces!

Give thanks

2011-11-25T18:14:00.001-08:00

We were gone all day yesterday with the family spending Thanksgiving In Santa Cruz with my moms side of the family! I wasn't able to write my "Thankful" post..but i DO have lots to be grateful for and i thought it was still ok to write a day late :)

I AM THANKFUL FOR.....

*my lord an savior Jesus christ; for his unconditional love, forgiveness, and Grace that i am SO incredibly unworthy of

* my family

*my health (even if i have many aches and pains)

* my phillip, that he has remained safe and that we have had the ability to communicate so often through this deployment.

* for my church body and the body of believers that the Lord has blessed me to be a part of ....they are like family.

* for this wonderful season full of falling leaves and orange trees.

* for coffee....and those wonderful red cups that it comes in during the holiday season!

melt in your mouth cookies!

2011-11-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i was bored and decided to bake something , after rummaging through cupboards i found some pumpkin (yay!!) and looked up some recipes that called for things that i had in the house! I stumbled across this here recipe and it sure didn't disappoint! These cookies are SOO delicious, and they melt in your mouth like it says! as a forewarning ...these cookies have a total of 5 thats right 5 sticks of butter in them. After i started making them and realized how much was in them i was pretty horrified...BUT it is thanksgiving (almost) and who counts calories on thanksgiving, well it sure as heck aint me :) so enjoy the buttery goodness that are these wonderful pumpkin cookies.

also it says that it will make about 60 cookies...i made larger ones and it ended up making around 45 or so. but this recipe does yield quite a few cookies

Melt-in-Your-Mouth Pumpkin Cookies

heat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, beat 2 cups butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add granulated sugar, baking ingredients

2
cups butter, softened
2
cups granulated sugar
2
teaspoons baking powder
2
teaspoons baking soda
1
teaspoon salt
1
teaspoon ground cinnamon
1
teaspoon ground nutmeg
2
eggs
2
teaspoons vanilla
1
15 ounce can pumpkin
4
cups all-purpose flour
1/2
cup butter
1/2
cup packed brown sugar
1/4
cup milk
1
teaspoon vanilla
2 3/4
cups powdered sugar
Ground cinnamon (optional)

directions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, beat 2 cups butter with an electric mixer on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Add granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Beat until combined, scraping bowl occasionally. Add eggs and 2 teaspoons vanilla; beat until combined. Beat in pumpkin. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Using a wooden spoon, stir in any remaining flour.
2.Drop dough by heaping teaspoons 2 inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake in the preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes or until tops are set. Transfer cookies to a wire rack; let cool.
3.In a small saucepan, heat 1/2 cup butter and brown sugar until melted and smooth. Transfer to a medium bowl. Stir in milk and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat in powdered sugar until smooth. Spread frosting on cookies. If desired, sprinkle with additional cinnamon. Makes about 60 cookies.

powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Beat until combined, scraping bowl occasionally. Add eggs and 2 teaspoons vanilla; beat until combined. Beat in pumpkin. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the In a small saucepan, heat 1/2 cup butter and brown sugar until melted and smooth. Transfer to a medium bowl. Stir in milk and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat in powdered sugar until smooth. Spread frosting on cookies. If desired, sprinkle with additional cinnamon. Makes about 60 cookies.

really ankle?

2011-11-22T09:24:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal ya'll, I'm officially scheduled to go in for ankle surgery in a few days!....what i have a hurt ankle you say? ...yes...its been a year coming, and i kept putting it off and hoping that it would just get better on its own, and that has yet to happen...therefore i went to the Doc's yesterday and I am now penciled in his surgery schedule.

This whole ankle issue is kinda ridiculous...and kinda embarrassing once i tell the story of how it happened. Every time someone asks me how i hurt it...and every time i say the words "dance aerobics" i wince a little bit...really Dance. Aerobics.

You see as a youngster i did Gymnastics for 10 years...rolled my ankle god knows how many times, and nothing really came of it. I just wrapped it for a couple of days and it was good as new. I did cheerleading both competitively and for my high school for 9 years....and never once hurt the thing. Then comes my 5th Semester at csu Stanislaus....I took a Dance Aerobics class to fulfill a PE credit. It was a super easy class and i had gotten down to the week of finals. I had just "performed" our routine that we had to choreograph for the class...and then went back to my spot and started following our teachers workout. Did i mention that this was the last day of class? ok this was the last day of class. .....Within 10 min of working out i jump wrongly off of our little step benches and land completely sideways on my ankle. I fall to the ground in front of my class of 100 and cannot get up due to the sheer pain (and embarrassment) of the situation. I literally had to crawl to the side of the room and someone then carried me to the kinesiology department where they had ice and a bunch of wraps and such. seriously so embarrassing. At this point i am convinced i broke my ankle because i looked like the elephant man due to the size of my now swollen foot. so i then lay there for a good 20 min...they tie a bag of ice to my foot ...and i end up hobbling to my car and drive to get it x-rayed. Come to find out i didn't break my ankle (praise the lord) but i did in fact tear a ligament and bruised the bone.

Fast forward a year later...and many doctors appts. and physical therapy sessions...the stinkin thing is still not better. therefore I'm getting it fixed. Im looking forward to my ankle not throbbing anymore...but i am really NOT looking forward to being unable to walk on it like a normal person for at least 2 months. Im also sad that i will be semi crippled when Phil comes home. Ugh. BUT i know that this is really the best time to do it, since i will be starting cosmetology school sometime around march. If i don't do it now, there will never be a good time to do it!

So if you guys could, just be praying that everything goes smoothly and that the recovery wouldn't be too difficult!

(did i mention that i was also dressed as someone from the 80's.....just to add to the humiliation)

5 months down!

2011-11-14T22:14:00.000-08:00

.........5 down........

We have now officially reached the five month mark! Yay, and with that comes the reality that I only have 60 or so days left until that long awaited reunion that I've been dying for these past 150 days! In 2 months Phil gets to come home for his R&R and I feel like I have to cram everything I may want to do in a years time within our 14 day time restraint! It's crazy to think that out of an entire years time we will only see eachother a meesly 14 days!!! 14! I don't know how people do this all the time, it's kinda nuts. Anyway since our time together is so short, I want to make it as great as I can, and I want to use my time that I have with him wisely and have lots of quality time together and go places that maybe we just haven't been before! Here is where you all come in.... If any of you guys have any favorite date locations [ in california] or any ideas that you think might be fun for us to do .. Shoot me a line! I feel as though I am running out of ideas so I could use the help. Also it is going to be January, so I have to take the weather into consideration!

I can't even begin to explain how excited I am that in 2 months he will be back.. At leaste for a little while. I'm excited to have life back to normal for at leaste a couple weeks, and to catch up on all the things that have gotten put aside these last 5 months! I am hoping that with these holidays just around the corner that it will all fly by even faster than time normally does. Oh and did I mention that he will most likely get to be here for my birthday! Yay... In our 2 1/2 years of dating this will be the first time we will get to spend it together as a couple ( stinkin army) so I'm thinking this year of 22 may just be the best one yet!

a rough week

2011-11-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

This has been quite the eventful week... sorry for my lack of postings. eventful meaning i did nothing....But a lot has gone on. I have a muscle disease if you will , called Fybromyalgia (you can look it up if you would like), and it decides to pop up every now and then, and when it does, i'm often out for the count. Thats what happened this week.

I woke up sunday feeling totally not like myself. I had to drag myself out of bed just in order to make it to our sunday morning bible study on time. I skipped out on my normal sunday Starbucks run because the thought of drinking coffee at that particular point was enough to make me want to die ( highly dramatic i know but thats kinda what i felt at that point haha). but i DiD make it to class, and i did make it through church service....but after that i was pretty done. i went out to eat with a few friends but not for long. I ended up going home....layed on the couch with a heating pad, and then went to bed at 7:30 and didn't wake up until 11 the next day....woke up feeling like a truck had hit me.

This is something that i have been having to deal with since i was in 8th grade ...which seems like forever ago. Its severe muscle aches and fatigue that can just seemingly take over you without notice, and you just have to deal with it and let it run its course. for me often the change in whether with cause flair ups and i believe thats what happened this time. since a couple days later the weather dramatically changed to freezing. This particular flair up lasted about a week, and so basically the last 7 days have been filled with far too many lame movies on netflix...tons of the office and modern family episodes (which bring me nothing but pure joy btw) and loads of sleeping because my body feels far too exhausted to do anything else. but i needed my people time...i needed conversation that wasn't with myself, and i needed friends to distract me from the ever present soreness that was now invading my body...and causing me to be unable to do all of the things that i normally would be doing. but i was stuck alone only feeling able to sleep, and lay on heating pads all day. its sometimes a hard thing knowing that this is something that i am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life....but i don't have to let it control me life.

but now as i sit here...i am on the mend. I woke up this sunday morning with a jump in my step and a craving for my sunday morning latte. i made it through the day with a smile on my face, and feeling so much better being around my people and being encouraged through the word and our awesome church body. I don't know if pastor stoppe knew i needed to hear what he was preaching but man it felt like he was preaching directly to me this morning. all about trials and suffering, and having joy through those sufferings. for these light momentary afflictions are strengthening me and us, and helping bring about change in me.

I know my struggles and pains are so small in comparison to what so many others are facing...but for me, sometimes these small hills i have to climb seem like mountains, and want to have joy as i journey through them. having joy because i know i can have faith in the sovereignty of god, and confidence in the fact that i know that he allows all of these things to come into our lives for a purpose. To bring about a holiness in me, and to make look more like his son, to often bring me to my knees, and break me, and remind me that everything is his...I am his, this body is his, and i can trust that he is in control and knows best.

I am so thankful to serve such a loving God, who continues to pursue me, and grow me...even if it happens to be through a trial or difficulty i am going through. Im thankful that he is forgiving when i often don't respond properly , and that he doesn't give us more than we can handle. I hope that when more struggles come my way...whether physical or of any sort (which they will), i can consider it pure joy like the word says and count my most difficult times and the most joyous times...because i know its producing something within me that is beyond what i can comprehend.

laundry overload

2011-10-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning...later than usual, put some water on the stove to heat up for my french press...then grabbed my giant Macarthur study bible and curled up on the couch and poured into some psalms and spent much of my time in Acts. It was wonderful and i was soaking it up much like my happy tummy was delighting in my coffee that it was now being fed. As i was sitting there reading about paul and about the way he evangilized and declared who the LORD was, all that was lurking in the back of my head was my GIANT pile of laundry sitting on my bed just waiting to be put away. ugh. I kept reading...and drinking my coffee as long as i possibly could, even longer than i normally would just to put off putting those dang clothes away (i know, bad reason to keep reading my bible...but I'm being honest and thats what i did haha)

finally i came in my room, put on some good tunes ( have you guys checked out Leelands new album, seriously some good stuff that you can't help but worship too...even if you are putting away clothes). Ever since i moved out of my parents house after high school about 4 years ago , i haven't had a washing machine of my own. This isn't really a problem because they live literally around the corner and i can just haul my loads over there and do them when i need to. BUT here is the problem. I do something very stupid to myself. I just let my clothes pile up and pile up until i basically start running out of undies and HAVE to take my clothes over and wash them. This means i usually wait about 1-2 months or so to do my laundry loads. Its ridiculous and it takes forever to do. 7 heaping loads and 2 months worth is seriously not that great....but the washing part isn't so bad. Its the putting away of the clothes is what i dread.

i am a pretty neat person some times...and other times i can be a little messy. but with my clothes they must be put away by color and style ...even down to the undies. therefore it takes me forever and a year to get it all put back in their proper locations. sheesh , does anyone else sympathize with me haha. i think i need to switch up my system and maybe not wait so long to do my laundry...in fact i know thats what i need to do. maybe i will turn over a new leaf this next month and do it maybe every 2 weeks! ...I'll let y'all know how that goes, but for now I'm here....suck with a bed covered in freshly washed clothes and a room that needs to be clean. wish me luck

Happy birthday brynn

2011-10-23T22:08:00.001-07:00

when one of your closest friends has a child, that baby usually becomes more like family. That's what happened when this little one came along 4 years ago tomorrow! Though she has no blood relation to be what so ever...i'd still claim her as basically family. Love that munchkin!

brynn,

i remember when i found out your mom was pregnant with you (she is 8 yrs older than me btw)...i was sitting in my high school english class and i got a text saying that she was going to have a baby! i was so excited and surprised...but mostly excited. The next week or so we went on a road trip down to Beverly Hills, LA, and stopped at a Bethany Dilllon concert as well. ...im convinced thats why you love her music now, it was poured into you from the beginning haha. you've got good taste kiddo :)

you were born 9 months later, a little over a week after our good friend Korre had passed away. You made a really sad situation a little bit brighter! you were the sweetest from the get go...tons of hair, and a complexion that resembled Dalton's haha...you were awesome!

Little did i know, that you, that little dark haired red baby, would have such an impact on my life...and you'd be that little blonde haired firecracker that i know today. Brynn you make me giggle, and smile, and laugh hysterically. You are kind, and thoughtful and oh so sweet. You are wild and crazy like the boys, yet you know when its time to put on your princess dress and dance around like a ballerina....but most of all you make me excited to be a mommy someday, and i hope she is just like you.

Thanks for letting me be your fanny, and for letting me play with you all the time. I can't wait to see what the lord is going to do in your life as we get to watch you grow for many more years to come.

I love you sweet girl

music : vagabond by bethany dillon.....one of her faves :)

ANTS...an update!

2011-10-18T20:09:00.000-07:00

Ok so you know how i basically stated earlier how i thought i cleaned my car out good and got all the ants killed.....WELL....sunday rolls around, (which was 2 days later), and my friend kayla and I were driving up to starbucks before sunday morning bible study when all of the studded i yell at kaya to kill the ant that was walking along my giant dash...angrily i thought "ugh i didn't kill them all"....then i take a closer look and oh how i was so wrong. what was once a few ants had now turned into a whole stinkin awful colony that was taking over my car. when we got to starbucks we parked and opened the car door and saw that where the door jam was ..it was literally covered in hundreds of those awful little mongrels . literally disgusting. i freaked out and felt like driving my car off a cliff (not really ...but if there was a cliff near by ..watch out).

i went inside and thought about what to do, then i remembered that a guy from church (mr. John Byrd) is our local pest control man and i thought he would for sure have something to exterminate this suckers. so i called him up in a panic and he said he had just the thing to kill them and that he would bring something to church and get them all after the service. praise the lordddddd! The whole time we were driving back after realizing the extent of my ant infestation it was all i could do to remain calm and not wreck my car haha. longest ride of my life haha.

So after all was said and done, once church was done, The Byrd man squirted some Gel junk in my car and air vent (which apparently they were making their home in) and the ants went nuts over the stuff....the loved it...which i loved. He said that the little guys were even carrying eggs which gives me the chills even now that i think about it...but john byrd convinced me that this would do the trick and the ants would be gone by the next day.

I am here and happy to report that the ants are officially donzo. Apparently the ants eat the gel...go back to the colony and feed it to everyone ,and basically it becomes like a fat ant massacre ( a little morbid i know)...but it worked great. I still shudder every time i get into my cute little car and look around to make sure there isn't anything still lingering...but i am so glad that i have yet to find anymore as of today. YAY

is this real life?

2011-10-14T17:51:00.001-07:00

today has been a ridiculous day....I mean a lot of days are, but today was particularly ridiculous. I woke up and headed out towards the freeway to get myself a latte. It was a little warm out so i turned my AC up high and kept driving. then out of nowhere i saw all these little things which looked like particles blowing out of my ac and they kept hitting my face. I was like what the heck is this stuff. Finally after getting smacked in the face far to many times by these things i turned off my ac and looked down....i saw that now i was covered in a ton of ants! thats right ANTS! praise the lord i was at a stop light when i realized that this is what was being thrown at my face cause i very well could have instantly crashed my car! I semi freaked out and screamed and as safely as i could i started trying to destroy all the little critters that were now crawling all over me! ugh the worst ever. When i made it to starbucks finally....that 4 mile drive felt like 40...i got out of the car...jumped around like a dork, and tried to get as much off of me as i could!then i drove home.after these shenanigans i drove to my parents house to borrow my dads shop vacuum and tried to get all the little guys out of my car. who knew my little vw beetle could hold so many critters...seriously they kept popping up out of nowhere and i quickly would suck them up...but then more would pop up. so frustrating. after spending a good 30 min sucking up everything i could i got my car spick and span and hopefully ant free...for now!

after that me and mom were hanging out and she says hey why don't you go get your dog from the house and let her come play for a little bit. So i drove to my house in my oh so clean car...i get tabby ...put her in my clean car and drive to my house. i take the dog out of the car, and now realize that my once clean car is now covered in muddy feet prints and blood. umm really dog? she decided that she was going to go into heat today without my knowledge and now left little presents for me all over my once spotless car! UGHHHH. so i stick the dog in my now filthy car ..and drive back home...and throw her butt into the backyard. ...then drive back to my parents house....and spend another 30 min cleaning it out again.

Im now sitting on the couch with my feet propped up...hoping for no more unforseen disgusting and disturbing incidents.

switching things up

2011-10-12T12:47:00.000-07:00

I spent the other night decorating a little bit and making things feel a bit more cozy ! I brought out my old duvet cover to add some color to the couch as well as a few other odds and ends to bring some of this seasons fun into the house! oh and thanks drunk neighbor for hurling one of our cute little innocent pumpkins into the street the other night...it was so nice of you ;)

For the love of fall...again

2011-10-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

tuesday's are usually my days where i stay at home or around town and just get done what i have been putting off from the week before. it usually involves putting away clean laundry and vaccuming the floors. mondays i go toa college group bible study and while i was there...our oh so lovely hostess ms. whitney byrd had this amazing wreath hanging above their fireplace! It looked like this big fluffy ruffled goodness that went around in a circle. I loved it...and asked her where she got it. come to find out it was one that she made...with none other than those recycled coffee filters in order to give it that soft brown look she was going for! Genius! So when my stay at home tuesday rolled around (yesterday) i knew that i was going to attempt to make one for myself.

Because i am an avid coffee drinker i already had a ton of filters at home. all i needed was a sturdy base to anchor the filters to. ...so i went to

the dollar store and picked myself up one of those twisted branch looking wreaths for around 50 cents and i was good to go!. i came home and got

started. basically all you need is coffee filters....a pencil with an erase...some type of wreath...and a hot glue gun.

here is a tutorial here that i found online right here to show you all how to do it...i am not the best at explaining instructions, so i thought this would be easier, and its basically how i did it! (to make it easier i use a pencil and fold the filters in

to the pencil for the desired look i wanted ..i then put a little dab of hot glue on the bottom of the filter and pressed it onto the wreath with the pencil....this worked better for me).

it was a very simple process it just took a little bit

of time because there are so many filters to be attached! but when it was all said and done i absolutely love the way it turned out! it looks

so great hanging above my bed. Mine looks a little wintery because i used all white filters...but it looks nice and crisp against my all white bedroom. loveee

my love letter to fall

2011-10-08T17:49:00.000-07:00

Love letter to fall 

Everyone has their favorite time of year... For some of us it it is soaking up this oh so wonderful california sun... While other love the pouring rain and freezing weather that California also boasts. For me on the other hand I am completely obsessed with fall.
If fall were a person id tell it this ....

Dear fall I love everything about you . I love being able to wrap myself up In the coziest of clothes and not feel like I am going to die from heat stroke. I love driving home and seeing the huge trees that line our street turn those infamous colors of orange and yellow and red! I love being able to shove my feet into brown leather boots and be that much less careless with were I walk because ... Well I have boots on. I love waking up and sipping on a warm cup of coffee and curling up on the couch with a blanket and doing my bible study first thing in The morning. I love the smells of the fall themed candles, you know the ones with notes of pumpkin and spice.... And everything nice? :) 
I love That it's the start of the holiday seasons and I have more of an excuse to start shopping! 
I love all the corn fields and corn mazes and pumpkin patches that make The largest of men feel like a kid again!
Really I could kind of go on for a while so I will end it here! Do you guys love this time of year as much as I do?

4 months

2011-10-07T20:56:00.001-07:00

Technically it hasn't been officially 4 months since phil left....But I'm going to be gone on the 10th...so i am blogging today..3 days early ....forgive me :)

This month has been one heck of a month, and it for sure has made this whole deployment thing that much harder. I know the Lord won't give me...or phil anything we cannot handle..But this one was a toughy. I think i felt the weight of this distance much more these past couple of weeks than other months prior, i'm sure its just that a lot has gone on here at my humble abode and it really sucks when the person who you need most isn't able to be here....and there's nothing you can do about it. It was rough for both of us. i know phil wanted to be here just as much as i would have loved having him by my side.

The lord has been really stretching me lately through all this so called craziness and some times it takes almost falling on your butt in order to recognize things that need to be adjusted in your life. I realized that maybe just maybe i was putting too much of my hope and security in my possessions , and when they were stripped away (stollen) it was way to overwhelming.The lords gentle reminder that he alone should be where i am finding my worth and my joy....

I was shown my prideful and arrogant heart where i far too often think " i can do this on my own"....until I realized my total lack of control and was humbled when remembering the lords omnipotence and sovereignty in my life...that whatever i was going through didn't happen without it going through the lord's hand....and whatever he was doing in my life, that it was best, even if i did not choose to see it that way immediately at the time.

I was reminded of the lord's goodness, and the peace that comes when you give your cares over to him.. was shown that my anxious heart cannot continue when i'm pouring into it the promises of his word, and choosing christ over my cares.

This whole thing isn't easy and I'm not even going to try to pretend that it is..i often feel weak, and often think that it is much to much to handle, but i am trying to find peace in the lord, and remind myself that this is just a season. i know that some day i am going to look back on this year and see all of the fruit that came about from the lord breaking me and molding me more into the woman that he wants me to be. I know that this is only building up both mine and phil's relationship and character and maybe all of this is worth it even for just that.

so here's to four lonnngggg months....and the 8 more we have to tackle. I'm ready for it

The city

2011-10-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

One of my dearest friends cassie is heading in for open heart surgery in the coming weeks, and she wanted to do something fun with a few of our closest friends before her big day. we decided take a short drive to San Fran and do some of the typical touristy things and just enjoy the wonderful city that is just a hop skip and a jump away. Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the day :) oh and you can follow cassie's journey here

What a week!

2011-09-30T16:23:00.001-07:00

I woke up monday morning as if it were any other day, i rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth and headed out the door. I had a dentist appt, and i was there give or take 45 minutes, and then i went up to Starbucks for my daily latte real quick and i came home. when i twisted my key into my vintage looking door and pushed it open, everything looked like it does every other time i walk into our house; our Tv still placed next to our fireplace, and a laptop sitting open on the couch. Everything was normal until i turned the corner to head towards the hall and to my bedroom. i turned the corner and saw that our hall closet was propped open, i thought to myself oh thats weird, i must have left it open or my roommate did. then i realized that no, that wasn't it. Our house had been Burglarized and my entire bathroom was thrown open, i looked into my room and it was an absolute disaster...clothes everywhere, drawers thrown open, and my jewelry case emptied and thrown on our wood floors (which caused it to shatter on the hard surface). Once mymind figured out what had happened i ran out of the house and went over to our sweet neighbors house while i was hysterical not knowing if these people who did this to my house were still in there somewhere.

I went over there and my lovely neighbors were distraught with the news. apparently they saw a car with 2 hispanic women and 1 man pull up into our driveway not that long before, and they knocked on the door twice and then drove away. They said that they noticed it but that it was anything really suspicious so they didn't think much of it. after we found out this we used our csi skills and discovered that they must have knocked to make sure none was home and then once they found that none was there they went around back to our alley and then went into our house.

i called my Rooomate Kirsten , and she came over as soon as she could. I called the police and we sat outside our house for a good 2.5 hours before the cops showed up. realllllly patterson police department, i don't understand how it takes that long to come, our town takes like maybe 10 minutes to drive across. once the police women came she tried to take some fingerprints. we waited outside of our house for those 2.5 hours just so we wouldn't mess up the "scene" but apparently i don't dust my room enough and she couldn't get a good enough print in my room because of the dust...whoops. But she may have been able to get one on our back window where they may have entered.

once she left i had to go through all of my stuff and write down all that i was missing! this was the most upsetting part. I felt completely violated. when you see all of your personal belongings thrown across the floor as if they have no meaning and see things that you love so much gone...its a whole lot to take in. I lost my macbook...itouch, all other electronics.....and ALL of my jewelry. Some of which i had from back when my mom was in high school, and others from my grandparents and other things of sentimental value. i wasn't so upset about those things that which can be replaced...but more upset about the irreplaceable things that i will no longer have.

oh did i mention that they also stole my entire jar of bobby pins?? what the what?? Out of everything in my bathroom that was what they decided to take....instead of my mom's louis vuitton duffle (1000's of dollars in just that)....instead of my coach purse...instead of hundreds of dollars of makeup they decided to take only my bobby pins out of my bathroom. These people were SOOO NOT smart. but i was totally ok with it. But if i see a short hispanic lady wearing blonde bobby pins in her hair....i just might have to tackle her.

because of this whole incident we decided to borrow one of our friends dogs to have in our house just for protection and piece of mind. Her name is Tabby and we love her!

If that wasn't enough....later in the week i found a small lump in my chest (too much info?) and had to go to the doctors. After going to the doctors i thought that i would find relief knowing immediately that it was nothing....But no i ended up just getting more anxiety from the fact that they ordered me for an urgent Ultrasound to make sure that it wasn't cancerous and to try and figure out what it was. ugh. so here i was 2 days after i had gotten my house broken into, laying on a doctors table thinking that i might possibly have cancer. awesome. oh all the while my boyfriend is across the world in the middle of a war zone. craziness let me tell you! I tried to give all of my cares and worries to the Lord, reminding myself of his soverignty , but i seriously felt overwhelmed with it all and wept like a baby a few times let me tell you.

They had scheduled my ultrasound for a monday which was like 5 days after my initial appt. ...but my mom ended up pulling her awesome skills and got them to fit me in for the next day. which i was oh so happy about so i didn't have to think about it all for the next 5 days. the next day came and i finally had a peace about everything. i went up to starbucks and got a coffee before my appt. and reminded myself that no matter what they found that day, that i was still in the lord's hand..and that is a very good place to be no matter the circumstances. mom met me at my appt. and we headed back to put my oh so lovely gown on and then i went and got my ultrasound done. I kept staring at the screen hoping to maybe be a doctor myself and be able to see something as she was doing it...but no, i had no idea what the heck i was looking at. after laying there for a good 30 min. they ultrasound technician said that she didn't think she saw anything abnormal...but that she couldn't be sure until they had someone actually really look over the images. but oh that was joy to my ears! then about 2 hours later they called me and told me that it was NOT malignant...and that they are not really sure as to what is causing the little lump but that it is not cancerous and that i shouldn't have anything to worry about! Praise the lord!

Though this week was seriously crazy, i can still say this .... although My boyfriend is still in afghanistan....although my belongings are still gone....and although i still have a strange lump....i still have my joy. i know that these belongings that i had....are just things that are wasting away...and even this body will not last forever....but i have a heavenly home with blessings that are eternal and there is a whole lot of peace in knowing that!!

3 months down

2011-09-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

It has officially been 3 months now since i watched that bus drive away, 3 months since that day when i cried like a large baby as I said goodbye not wanting to at all, and 3 months since I actually had a face to face conversation with my most favorite person ever. Wow. Some days feel like they go by really fast, and it seems crazy that we've already spent like 90 days apart. Other days feel like we should already be at the 12 month mark , and the fact that i've only managed to get pass 3 seems kinda overwhelming. tonight as im laying here unable to sleep, im somewhere inbetween the both of those two feelings.
January can't seem to come fast enough in my mind! that's when those oh so wonderful 2 weeks of awesomeness come, and phil Gets to come home for a little R&R. I really can't wait for it. we have some mighty fine plans in the works, and i can't wait for them to come to fruition. one of our many plans includes Roadtripping it up to Portland to stay with some of my family and to explore the city! everyone keeps ranting and raving about it so we are pretty excited about it! At first the 10.5 hour drive seemed a little daunting and ridiculous to try and knock out , but then after thinking about it my gloom turned to pure joy thinking how awesome is it that i will get to just sit and talk to that person i have been DYING just to be next to , for 10.5 hours. Im pretty sure we have a lot of catching up to do , so a nice long car drive is an excellent way to get that time in! not to mention all the fun we will have once we actually get to Portland.
I remember when phillip went to Iraq, 2 years ago, our relationship was just starting out and i had no idea what i was getting myself into. I knew hardly anything about the military, and deployments were only things i heard about on Tv, or by word of mouth. nothing i had experienced. I Remember a conversation on the phone we had while he was in Iraq where i said " 8 months....no big deal". thinking in my head ....this is gonna be a cake walk, i mean we both have 2 seperate lives, and its just gonna go by so fast as we both are doing our daily things, and keeping busy...and you will be home before we even know it. I laugh about it now because i soon learned how wrong i was!
I sit here 2 years later thinking "3 months, thats a BIG deal" . a big deal in the sense that i feel accomplished for making it thus far...and that we are that much closer to the finish line. Not that i didnt think that i would "make it" but the fact that i have made it thus far with my joy still intact, a happiness in my step, and im more in love with this one guy than i was those 3 months ago!
this whole thing is really hard, but i wouldn't trade these past few months. there's been a lot of growth, and learning, and happiness! ....although i do hope january rolls around here soon :) but as for now its 3 months down..and thats a big deal

my body hates me

2011-09-13T20:50:00.001-07:00

I'm Currently laying in bed watching (kind of) Legally Blonde for 100th time, and waiting for my nyquil to kick in. Yeah that's right, i'm sick...for also what seems to be the 100th time. it seems like anytime the weather shifts even a degree or two, i end up getting some type of illness. So yes, that wonderful fall weather that is slowly starting to creep its way on into this quiet town i live in, its also brought with it the dreaded yearly attack of runny noses and sore throats.
I went to bed sunday night feeling great after spending a wonderful day at church and then fellow shipping the rest of the day with some of my favorite people on the planet...monday morning i woke up with a head that weighed 100lbs and a throat that felt like fire with every swallow. sheesh man, way to ruin my week.
so now here i've been laying in bed most of these past couple of days, shifting time between here and my parents house. I've watched more episodes of The Rachel Zoe project, and keeping up with the Kardashian's than i care to admit, i've drank my body weight in Emergen-C, and i've eaten enough soup for a month. But now I can say that i see light at the end of the tunnel due to being able to breathe out of 1 nostril, and i can now drink comfortably without feeling like a fireball is being thrown down my throat! yay! im hoping that when i wake up tomorrow i will be back to my norm! we shall see!
I am now going to get back to watching my movie ( i dont know why i chose to watch legally blonde) on my super awesome huge tv that im "babysitting" for phil while he is in Afghanistan. hope ya'll have been having a much more exciting start of the week than I have :)

Nyquil, and goodnight
xoxo

Todays accomplishments....

2011-09-01T22:22:00.001-07:00

The sun came streaming through my white sheet thats hanging on my window a little too early this morning (so it seemed). My thighs were burning from my attempted workout from the night before and i just did not want to get out of my oh so comfy bed....so i layed there a good 10 more minutes than i probably should have. But today, oh today, it was gonna be a good day, and it was enough incentive to pull back the covers and mosey on into my dimly lit bathroom to get ready for the day.
I had a hair appt today for the first time in 5 months. i was kinda excited about getting to sit in that nice leather chair and have someone play with my hair for 2 hours....its always quite a good experience lol. I got there....and that nice leather chair didn't let me down. Its kinda relaxing to have someone else do your hair for once ( blow drying especially which i despise doing mid summer) , and get to just sit and catch up with the gossip mags and better homes and gardens as they are so perfectly placed throughout the salon.
After i got my hurr lookin all nice , i headed down and around the corner to spend the day with my bestie Kayla. we literally ended up spending almost all day posted infront of her larger than life tv watching the show "the buried life" on netflix. that show gets me everytime...one minute im about to pee my pants from laughing to hard, and the next im getting chills and wanting to cry cause there is some touching story that moves me. Its a great show let me tell you lol. Though after realizing we had been spending too much time sitting on the couch eating more watermellon than our body weight, and watching enough Barried Life to sustain me for a lifetime, we decided we should do something with our life. We decided to make coffees and walk around Turlock's "the Greenery" and stare at all the wonderful plants and flowers the beautiful nursery has to offer...it made me want to be a great gardener someday. though i highly doubt ill ever be that motivated enough to keep this garden of mine alive and thriving. Somehow that always happens with my bright ideas. After being inspired there we decided to go to lowes because kayla decided her house needs shutters to make it look cuter (hello doesn't every house look cuter with shutters...i know) and we wanted to check out prices and such.
We ended up going to lowes and walking out without shutters...but instead paint rollers and other painting tools. somehow one thing led to another and we decided that we were going to paint her and her husbands room that evening and it was gonna be great. kayla's parents always laugh at us and say that we are Romie and Michelle, and i kinda feel as though the more we hang out....the more and more that statement is becoming true. We were awesome and busted out the whole painting proccess in a little over an hour (we only wanted to paint one wall...so it was easy). but our random idea turned out to be a great one, and their bedroom looks great. their buttery walls now have one that is a nice shade of mocha, and it makes the whole room look that much more warm and inviting. I love it. finally we munched on some cookie dough to solidify our long days work (riiigghhtt) and i headed home.
it was a day full of accomplishments...both high and low ones. I managed to get my hair done...watch too much tv....eat far too much...hang out with my best friend....all the while getting a room looking mighty fine with a brand new coat of paint. it was a good day, really. I think i needed a random day like this.

Date day

2011-08-23T17:40:00.001-07:00

There are many things you miss out on when your boyfriend is deployed. There are no real dates, there is no hanging out, and conversations aren't as frequent as one would hope. In order to try and make this a little bit easier, phil and I started "video skyping" on his days off which are mondays. I like to think of it as our date day haha. Our dates always include sitting in front of the computer screen...there is no dinner or movie or night on the town....but there is ALWAYS lots of laughing and smiles and two happy people who are trying to make the most of this pretty crappy situation haha.
Some days just kinda seem to drag on, and are hard, and its always a relief when you can actually look at that person who you are missing so terribly. looking at them reminds you why you are sticking this out and that this "little" deployment is only for a season (praise the lord).
These little dates of ours are not always perfect ahha. This past monday skype decided it was just gonna not work so great, Phil's internet kept being slow, and my poor macbook that is falling apart decided that it just wants to fall apart some more. Its always a little exciting cause you never know what you are going to get with these type of things; ahha but i did get to see that face i love for a little bit so that was always nice!
I love skype, and I think that video chatting is a wonderful invention that makes things like this a little bit more bearable. I am so happy that we don't live in an era where only letter writing is possible.( since it takes like 2 or 3 weeks to recieve a letter....though we do write to eachother lots). I feel blessed to live in a time and place where i am able to talk to Phil every single day....and even see his face even for one day a week, though he is thousands and thousands of miles away. It is pretty great. I think the lord knew that I wouldn't be strong enough for the other way haha.

resting in this today

2011-08-18T11:01:00.000-07:00

Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. ²⁵ All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen
Jude 1:24-25

for the love of santa cruz

2011-08-15T22:21:00.000-07:00

Everyone only turns twenty-one once, and since our great friend Cassie just celebrated her birthday we wanted to go do something fun with all of our closest friends. So after church we all piled into her mothers HUGE excursion (thanks Denel for being so awesome and lending us your car for the day, it was great) and made our way to Santa Cruz, Ca. This is always one of our go to places when we want to have a fun day. there's lots of fun random things to do, from tide pool looking....to shopping....to even coffee shop sipping...its a great place to be.
throughout the day i took a bunch of short videos so that i could recap it all later. This was the product. ....(and no we didnt see the civil wars play on "this trip", it was from back in december when we saw them in santa cruz...i just needed a filler and it worked perfect ) I hope you enjoy reliving our day with us....we had so much fun. I love my friends, and spending some quality time together...even if we are sometimes ridiculous, and act like giddy children, it makes life so much more fun.

santa cruzin from melissa thorkelson on Vimeo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASS! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

2 months 2Day

2011-08-10T21:19:00.001-07:00

Today marks a small achievement in this whole deployment deal. I think every month that i get to check off is an achievement really, but for some reason the fact that two months has passed already , seems really great. Don't get me wrong these past few months have been probably 2 of the hardest i've had thus far in this little life of mine...but really they have gone by pretty quickly. I think its partially to the fact that i have tried to keep myself busy with things and friends, and have tried to let moping not be an option. even though there are many days where i just want to have a pitty party and whine to anyone who will listen to me. But I've decided that those kind of parties are not helpful at all, and really kinda awful for anyone around me, and therefore have declined such invites to attend parties full of pitty. So today instead of saying "OH MY GOSH I STILL HAVE 10 MONTHS LEFT OF THIS!!!!" I am going to choose to say "praise the Lord that these two months have gone by so quickly, and that he continues to be faithful even when i feel like i cannot do much more of this"

fight against the flab

2011-08-09T21:00:00.001-07:00

Have you ever tried something that looked easy..and then after minutes of sweating and screaming...you realize how completely out of shape you are...and are therefore kinda horrified. This happened to me when i stumbled across the workout goddess herself...Tracy Anderson. She is a celebrity trainer to the likings of Madonna, Nicole Richie, and Gweneth Paltrow. i decided if it was good enough for Madonna it was good enough for me? right? jk...but seriously have you seen her arms lately?
So instead of dropping major dough (90 bucks) on a workout video of hers...or paying 1000's for personal training lessons, i decided to look through youtube and happened to find these butt busting (literally) videos. i honestly barely made it through the bun and thighs video the first time i tried it..i verbally yelled back at her "tracy i can't do it" haha but she "told" me i was doing great and it was enough motivation to continue going haha. my friend taylor did it with me the next day...and she also realized Tracy Anderson is no joke....
(If you are feeling up to it...(or your thighs and side butt) give this little video a try. its also a little upsetting how easy she makes this look. it kinda boggles my mind

now if your arms need a little toning and you are feeling lazy...this is the perfect one for you. When i saw a video of an arm routine where you could sit and do it at the same time i was like SAWEET this looks easy....um yeah i was wrong.....she fooled me. This burns like crazy...but there is some satisfaction in that when you have completed it!

I hope you all enjoyed sweating and getting buff with these videos! im gonna try to keep doing them and hopefully ill see some results. also there are a ton of other videos of hers on Youtube. i would recommend that you check them out!

stumbled upon

2011-08-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

I stumbled across this proposal video while looking at some website and i thought it was both the sweetest and most genius thing ever! swoon!

Behind the magic:
“For the last 5 months, we have been working closely with our good friend John on an idea for his proposal film. He came to us with an elaborate script and a shot list and wanted help telling his story. Over the last 5 months, we met with John, traveled with him around NYC, even to western NJ, and helped him turn his idea into a reality.

When John realized he wanted to marry her (at the airport in France), he started collecting footage of them together wherever they went. For the next 9 months he brought his camera everywhere and filmed them together. During the times we filmed them together, John had made up this [white] lie that I needed more samples on my website and was filming them for a video I would later put up as a sample “love story.” Luckily she bought it.

What you are about to witness is nothing short of amazing — not because we helped film it, but because you’re about to see why we love what we do and why we believe memories like this should be documented. John and his [now] fiancée are a couple you can’t help but love because they’re so in love with each other. Sit back and enjoy this special memory.”

The wise words of Jonathon Edwards.

2011-07-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

As i was spending time in the snack shack on saturday, i decided to read (like every time im in there) in order to pass the time. I looked in my lovely large Gap book bag and found many choices of reading material. I had crazy love,cs. lewis classics, my bible, and The Sermons of Jonathon Edwards. after much contemplation i chose Mr. Edwards....I was not dissapointed.
I could read his words all day...and really thats kinda what i did ...a whole 7 hours worth of reading is what i did to be exact. His words are wise, and true, and seem to cut right to the heart of the very points he is trying to convey. I love his heart for the lord, and his desire for people to come to a place of true repentance, and seek after the one who is worthy of all our praise. I thought i would share some of the things he said, profound or not, that just really resonated with me yesterday as i poured through pages of that book i LOVE.

"His promise lives. his word is established as a sure record in heaven, and his faithfulness to his promise lives.His mercy lives. He is a Redeemer of the same grace and mercy that ever he was, and his love to him that believes on him lives.For whom he loves, he loves to the end. He hath loved them with an everlasting love

"for what could be more joyful to a man than to know that he is safe from the dreadful eternal destruction that the greater part of the world are exposed to, to know that he is out of the reach of the sting of death, and the power of hell, to know that there is a glorious almighty God, and this God , is his God; to know that Christ is the judge of heaven and earth, and yet to know that He is his Redeemer;to know that there is a day of judgment, and also to know that then they shall stand at the right hand of Christ; to know that there is a heaven of eternal glory, and to know that this is a kingdom prepared for them; to know that God has loved 'em before the foundation of the world, that their names were written on Christ's heart then, and that he died out of love to them and will love them to eternity?"
(if the knowledge of these truths in your life dont bring you joy...i don't know what will. We serve and awesome god).

"hath any man much comfort and strong hope of eternal life, let not his hope lift him up, but dispose him the more to abase himself, and reflect on his own exceeding unworthiness of such a favor, and to exalt God alone. Is any man eminent in holiness, and abundant in good works, let him take nothing of the glory of it to himself, but ascribe it to him whose "workmanship we are, created in Christ Jesus unto good works"

I hope you all found these little blurps as encouraging as i did!

The most wonderful time of the year.

2011-07-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

Its shark week guys.....as if you live under a rock and do not know this already haha.
I love many things in this world...Jesus, Cars, Photographs, my boyfriend(oh and my bestie kayla haha) among many things....and great white sharks. I love them so much in fact that phillip sent me one in the mail(a stuffed animal version) while he was in Iraqiland 2 years ago....thats how i knew i loved him ahha jk. This is my ode to great white sharks all over the world haha

Happy shark week

Thanks sunset.

2011-07-30T22:03:00.001-07:00

Do any of you have that one magazine or catalog that you CANNOT wait to come in the mail. for a while i loved getting people, better homes and gardens, and the oh so lovely real simple, but now i am completely and utterly obsessed with Sunset Magazine. like really, i'm starting to feel like a woman 40 years older that my 21 years of age...but c'mon its hard not to drool over those amazing images of wandering trails, glistening lakes, and wonderful hidden getaways that are just in our back yard here in california. the most recent ones we've gotten in the mail have a lot to do with camping ....and let me tell you, just looking at these wonderful pages and ideas has made my itch to go camping turn into a full blown itch attack.
Ever since winter i have been dreaming of a wonderful summer camping trip on the lake...any lake for that matter. i wanted there to be an awesome tent....kayak....fire...s'mores, the whole deal. but sadly all of my plans fell through on several occasions and it never came to fruition. therefore i am dying to go.
secondly have i mentioned before that i have this weird thing about loving to see when someone drives by me with like a super awesome suv (preferably a Volvo xc90 haha) kayak on their roof....moutain bikes on the back rack ....and maybe even a car full of kiddos. I LOVE it, i always know that those people are going somewhere fun and it makes me want to jump out of my car and go join them....i never do of course cause that would be weird, but do you get the feeling. well i have seen a TON of thise recently living off I-5 where maybe travelers stop and load up on gas or starbucks as they are trucking through on their little adventures, and it is killing me haha.
So today i am dreaming, with sunset magazine about my perfect camping trip.

* the last issue i read mentioned this resort in montana....its insanely expensive (800 a night whattt???) but this is my dream right!

(Swoon)
This is the paws up resort and it is amazing!!! look it up online, it seems soo soo wonderful.

* oh and of course i need a wonderful car to get me there.....cue in xc90 (love it)

* but really if all else fails...... this will totally do and be ok with me!

all in all i just really want a tent and the ones i love around me and a campfire roasting s'mores...but i wouldnt mind a luxury one too if someone handed me a free vacation ahha :)

.....I miss

2011-07-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

........This face

he's buiding up a palace.

2011-07-21T22:27:00.000-07:00

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."

- C.S. Lewis'

Dear job.

2011-07-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

I love you because, i need a job.
But i also highly dislike you because my life revolves around hotdogs and pervy golfers .

....OK so before i complain about my daily routine at work...i must brag about it first....it would only be the right thing to do. My so called place of employment is at a Golf and country club thats nustled away in the hills that run adjacent to our little town. This place is is stunning at all times of the year (especially spring when all the hills are green and blooming with life) . There doesn't come a day where i don't see hundreds of squirrels, and tons of bunnies...and other forms of wild life. its wonderful really. oh and did i mention the deer (oh my dear) they are my fave.
well the beauty of this place is not the problem haha. I used to work inside of the clubhouse where i was a waitress and enjoyed serving and spending time with the guests. But in recent months i have been moved out to Hole number 9....on the course in the lovely Snack shack. this is where i spend my days roasting hot dogs on the oh so dreadful hotdog machine, and spend more time reading than actually working. this would seem like a wonderful job (and really when i come down to it...it is) but I am starting to get sick of being stuck way out in the middle of the course where I have no connection to the outside world until someone decides to walk in my shack to buy a hot dog, snack, or some unhealthy beverage.
I am a person who loves communication, and loves talking with people...employees and guests alike. But i am alone in this place and some days it is hard to handle spending 8-9 hours trapped in a hut ( did i mention that being alone for a long period of time is one of my biggest fears in life haha) . also did i mention that when golfers do come in they usually dont walk out without making some demeaning comments or trying to use their best pick up lines. Yeah, really..c'mon duuuuddeesss.
with all that said though, I have managed to read some wonderful books while out there these past few months ...its made passing the time that much more enjoyable..or shall i say bearable.
i've managed to read
*mere christianity-from my collection of lewis classics book
* the great divorce- from the same book as above
*love story-someone gave it to me
*esperanza rising-aunt gave it to me
* Dont waste your life-word john piper
* instruments in the hands of the redeemer - getting my bible study on

I have tried to make my time out in my little shack not so useless by spending time learning from Gods word-or learning from others who have also studied his word, and have gotten some much needed time just to be alone with the lord....and really i have really loved that! But i think i am ready for a change! I am ready to be doing what I am passionate about..and thats not hot dog making and beer selling..let me tell you haha. I am thankful for the job that i have now...but everytime i am in there i day dream of a time when maybe things will be wee bit different.

thats all folks.

thanks skype

2011-07-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

Whelp phillip has been gone almost a whole month so far! Some days feel like they go by really fast and others just drag on with no end in sight! luckly over this past month we have been able to talk every day on the phone which has really been a blessing! i can't imagine how they did it way back in the day....where only letters were exchanged. Dont get me wrong, i love getting a hand written note in the mail...but the thing is they take a month to get to one another. this makes it really difficult to get information accross in any kind of timely matter. SO the telephone...oh the telephone, you are amazing! its so refreshing just being able to hear that voice that i love so much reaching through the wire and be reassured that it is all good in "afganiland" as phil would say!
since we knew that talking on the phone was great we finally wanted to try skype this time around. when he was in Iraq a year ago we talked on it all the time and he even called me like a telephone through it. It worked like a gem. This time it wasn't so lovely sadly! The connection was so slow and robotic and it sounds as though he is constantly in the middle of a sand storm! I was pretty bummed about it. I am hoping that once he gets his microphone and tries a few other tricks to make it work that it will end up being better! we shall see!
continue to Keep us in your prayers. this whole deployment thing is proving itself to be just as difficult as i imagined! my mind is continually in countdown mode till i get to see him again on his R&R in January. we cannot wait.....6 months and counting. yay! Although this is all very hard i am resting in the faithfulness of our loving god and the knowledge that he will not give me anything that i cannot handle.

the countdown begins

2011-06-24T14:00:00.001-07:00

Two weeks ago today i did one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. I had to say goodbye to phillip knowing that when I left....he was going to be flown thousands of miles away from home and thrown into a war zone for an entire year. I didn't really know what to expect of that evening where we would have to say goodbye once and for all..I had never had to do anything like that before so i wasn't exactly sure how i would handle it all...how we would handle it. But it was definitely a lot harder than I expected.

Wednesday morning me and my Mom flew out to Texas where we would meet up with phil and his family. Thank goodness mom came with me for moral support. i knew that i needed someone a little less emotionally attatched when i was gonna be a hot Mess friday when he would leave( it ended up helping lots) . we got To Austin Later that evening and it was such a relief to finally land and be able to see phillip waiting at the end of the escalator. for such a long time the both of us had been dreading this weekend cause we knew it wasnt going to end fun at all...but being able to see him and hug him reminded me that this was all going to be ok in the end. we spent the rest of the evening eating and hanging out and it was nice just to get to spend time with everyone.

Thursday me and phil got to spend the entire day together and it was wonderful... and it is now a fond memory that i will carry with me for a while. I have always ranted and raved about Ikea and phil had never been....so we ended up driving past one and phil had the great idea of going...It ended up being soooo much fun. just walking around and talking about all the stuff we liked and what we hated, and day dreaming about a

ll the stuff that we could do to a house "if" we end up getting married at some point haha. I happened to think we would make a good decorating team...the kids got some pretty good taste and clearly i do as well haha.

later on in the evening we went out to dinner at the hottest spot that copperas cove texas offers ...Applebees what what haha! we ate far too many appetizers and not enough of our dinner but whatever...i kept calling it his last supper and all that

matters was that we enjoyed it haha..i think we did. we then went back and watched Patch Adams (an old fave of mine) and we just enjoyed being around eachother and talking. Thats the one thing that i knew i was going to miss. I wasnt sure how much we were going to be able to talk while he was deployed and the thought of not being able to communicate the way we normally did was so hard. I didn't want anything to change really...although i knew things we going to.

Theres so many things that go through your mind when you are sitting there next to someone knowing that that was the last time you were going to be able to do all of that for basically a whole year. it was hard for me to wrap my mind around it, it still is actually. i think about how much happens in a years time and it is semi overwhelming. I had a lot of fear and anxiety and my heart just ached at the thought of it all. But praise the lord I have a man who puts it all into prospective and doesn't let me let my mind wonder off too far. He always has a way to bringing it back to the truth and to the reality of what is really going on in any given situation ...even at a time like that. He let me cry...sob in fact...but not for too long. with his simple reminders and encouragement i was able to get it together once again.

The next day..Friday..was the day i had been dreading

for a whole year. I woke up that morning with a pit in my stomach and a knot in my throat. I knew that at 11:30 that night i had to let go . I spent the day trying to ignore what felt like the impending doom haha... we all hung out and ate and laughed and loved on eachother before phillip had to go. at 7 he had to go put on his uniform and get dropped off to go get his weapon. we all went back to hotel and phil went and got dressed. when he walked out all ready to go i was reminded that this isnt like he is just going away to a nice little country to hang out for a year...he was going to Afghanistan in the middle of an ongoing war. its something that normally i dont think about but there it was staring at me i

n the face. his Dad then had to take him to go get d

ropped off at the gym where we would see him later (he had to go pick up his weapon and such). as soon as he walked out the door the tears came streaming down my face. all day I had been trying to hold it together for him...for the both of us. I didnt want to make it any harder than it already was on him. i pulled it together and around 9:30 we went the the gym to meet up with him once again.

Soon after we got there they all started to trickle in. Then we got to hang out with them for about 2 hours. we sat there and laughed and talked and enjoyed our final moments together. I held it together up to that point far better than i thought i would. It was all fine and dandy until the chaplain came up to pray over everyone. I knew at that point it was the time when we had to say goodbye. i couldn't hold it back any longer so i just held him as we prayed and I sobbed. I can't explain the emotions That i felt from that point on..i soon felt as though i was in a bubble. Then it was time to say goodbye. i hugged him tight and gave him a million little kisses and then i had to walk away. As i walked away from the person i loved most i saw many families doing the same thing. i saw mothers feeding there little babies their last bottle before handing their baby of to their father who would have to play the roll of mommy for a year. I saw little girls holding on to their daddies necks crying not wanting to leave his site. i saw wives and husbands saying goodbye knowing only a peice of what they felt...i couldn't imagine how hard that must have been. That may have been the hardest part for me...just seeing a gym packed with families who were being broken in a way for a year.

after that we lined up outside and watched as all the soldiers walked by us and loaded into buses....we werent allowed to go up to them we just had to watch them walk by. person after person walked by and i finally spotted phil. as he walked by it took all i had in me not to run up to him and give him one last hug. But we shared a long glance and i told him i loved him and then he loaded into a bus packed with many other men and women who were all headed to the same place. I watched him through the window of the bus as long as i could and then they drove off and that was it.

I can say with confidence that that day was one of the hardest days i have ever had. But I also can say that I know that the Lord is faithful and will not give us anything we cannot handle. I know he is not suprised of the situation that me and phil are in or the very war that has taken him from home. i know that he has us right in this specific place to fullfill his purposes that maybe i nor phil will ever know. But i know the Lord is doing a work in me through this and i am sure in Phillip too. Sometimes in the busyness of the days i forget how much i need the Lord in my life daily...and situations like this totally slap you in the face and remind you who is in control and how much I need the lord every second, every minute of my day and life. there in a peace that i cannot explain when you come to the understanding that, I am not in control, but i serve a wonderful and amazing God who is and who is so trustworthy. I think a god who knows every hair of my head and has all my days planned out knows thats best and i can fully put my trust and hope in that. I know that this years journey isn't going to be easy for the both of us, but i want to go at it with the best outlook possible and use this time to strengthen my relationship with both phillip and the lord. I have so much time on my hands and i want to use it for his glory. Im exicted to see what this year is going to unfold and to see the things the lord has instore for us. Be praying for the both of us if you think about it! i know we both would appreciate it so much! xoxo

The Plague

2011-05-16T11:00:00.000-07:00

When you belong to a church where the body loves eachother so much and spends so much time together..this can be both a blessing and a curse. A curse meaning that whenever someone gets a runny nose, everyone gets a runny nose, and whenever anyone gets the flu , it runs rapid around our building like the plague. Thats what happened this month. The flu went around like wild fire and i happened to be the recipients of this not so glorious flu bug.
whenever i get sick, i dont just get kind of sick....i end up feeling like i am going to die. I always seem to get hit the worse and this time was no different. It was a glorious monday morning, i spent the day with my roomate shopping for clothes and makeup, and then made a stop at Trader Joes (one of my fave places to be). we ended up grabbing some sushi rolls and had a picnic in my car before heading home.
a little while after returning home i started to feel funny but really thought nothing of it. I didnt feel neccessarily bad, i just felt a little off. but then around 6 i started to feel really nautious and even the thought of that sushi i ate a little earlier would send me to the bathroom wanting to vomit. it wasnt until around 10 till i actually did do that very thing. I coulnt hold the flood gates back any longer. and this is the thing with me...i never just throw up once. it always turns into 5, 10, 15, 20 times by the end of it. i knew that once i started that it was going to be a long night.
I called my mom to come bring over some medicine, but when she got there i just decided to tell her to take me to their house instead. theres something about being really sick that just makes it better to be at home. I think the fact that my mom is a nurse is super comforting and she has every medication in the book...so thats always a plus. i was happy i ended up staying the night there because it ended up being miserable. It was one of those flus where you almost forget what its like to feel normal..and you wonder if you are ever going to feel better again! kinda dramatic but thats how i felt haha.
But here i am on the other side of things....5 lbs lighter, with a little more bounce in my step. afterall i am finally able to eat more than ice chips and Ritz crackers, so life is pretty good. im currently sipping on my favorite thing in the world (coffee) and its tasting like a dream. I tried to drink some earlier in the week but i couldnt do it. i took one sip and was like nope this isnt happening (what the what?? who am i? ) . but today is wonderful and i am feeling great! lets hope all of this stays away.
we are currently building a new church building and i am thinking we need to burn the old one down or rip out every piece of carpet and re paint haha. that place has had so many infestations of... i dont even know what , and i think its about time it gets a little help.
I hope you are having a wonferful day friends, and if you happen to see someone who is sick...as much as you love them, just walk away....its not worth it haha even if you do end up loosing 5lbs out of the deal :)

a sneaky little visitor

2011-05-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

One of the many perks about living in central California is the ability to drive 2 hours and be in basically any landscape. we are a short drive to the ocean, snow, mountains, hills, farms...really anything, and its fabulous! One of my favorite places to go is the not so hidden gem called Yosemite National Park... ever heard of it?...yeah its amazing haha :) . when phil was home we decided that we must go before he deploys to Afghanistan, so thats exactly what we did.
its was kinda a last minute trip but we decided to load up the car and go. I am so happy we did! The many waterfalls that yosemite boasts were overflowing with water, and the many wildflowers were bursting at the seams. It was so gorgeous and the weather was beyond perfect. although all of the many walks we took, and the many waterfalls we hiked to, my very favorite and memorable event included none of these very things.
after walking and driving around the park for quite some time, me and phil were working up quite an appetite. after seeing many people picnicking it up, we decided that we couldnt think of a better way to eat lunch and wanted to picnic as well. so we drove and FINALLY found a place to get some food.we decided on sandwhiches , and then hopped back in the car in search of our perfect grassy null to plop down on and munch on our wonderfully delicious sandwhich creations. i had a vision in mind...a spot far from the hustle and bustle of tourists and a spot covered with pine trees and where i could see little critters running around....all while enjoying our meal and the company of my best friend. yeah...quite the vision right? so we drove around and around and we finally decided on a spot. a picnic area that was off the road and there wasnt really any people around! it was a great little spot, so we grabbed my green crocheted blanket and threw in on the grass and sat down to enjoy our wonderful caprese sandwhiches ( fresh mozzerella, tomatoes, basil and a wonderful balsalmic dressing...YUMM)this was our perfect little place! so we were just hanging out enjoy the beauty of this place when all of the sudden i heard some wrestling in the bushes behind us. So in curiosity i turn around and see this bear(which is much larger than my liking) run behind us and stop. it was probably about like 15 feet from us which was also much closer than my liking. I screamed...picked up everything in one swoop and ran to the car. Phil on the other hand...did what probably any other guy would do. He stood there in amazement without fear of his life and wanted to take pictures of the thing. I yelled at him to get in the car..becuase i didnt want him to get attacked, but he said in his usual voice " calm down" and coaxed me out from behind the car and had me get him the camera. i didnt want to but im glad i did cuase now i get to share pictures for you of our lovely bear that interupted our oh so lovely picnic.

not so little right?

Now that i look back it was pretty cool but at the time the idea that there was a large bear behind me without my knowlege was pretty scary. The rest of the day i felt on guard just incase another bear decided to make a suprise appearance. we were cracking up about it the whole rest of the day, how i ran like a baby (which probably wasnt the smartest thing to do) and how phillip stood unwavering in the site of danger (which doesnt suprise me becuase i have a stud of an army boyfriend..i mean c'mon a bear is nothing for this guy aha) . it was a good story, i still laugh about it now as i type this. So although the waterfalls and spring flowers were fun...this bear became our little trips highlight. so thanks bear you brought some excitement into my little life

Heres some more pics from our lovely adventure!

gorgeous isnt it?

my sweet boy

Love him!

It went by too soon!

2011-05-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

I have to admit .. These past few weeks have been some of the best 2 weeks that I have had In a really long time! My days were filled with hilarity, random adventures, pure laziness, other times having to much energy, beautiful places, relaxation, enjoyment, and just contentment. I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish all my days were this great and that I got to have Phillip around all the time , , but it's these simple moments I get that make me realize how much I enjoy just being able to be with the person I love even if it's only for a little while

Phil was home for his last 2 weeks before he deploys... Really soon ( I can't tell you all exactly when the day is but it's too soon for my comfort) we got to spend every day together and tried to fill it up with a's much stuff as we could. I felt as though I was trying to think of everything I might want to do in a year and then manage to squeeze it all into a spam of 2 weeks. We did a lot of things, we went a lot of places( like we managed to drive at leaste 1,000 miles in 2 weeks) but out of all the things we did and all the places we went my favorite thing about these days I've had was just when we did nothing but sit and hang out. Talking and laughing about nothing and just enjoying being with eachother. I think when you are used to having someone around all the time you kinda start forgetting all those little things about the other person that you love. Like the way they smell, the way it feels to have your hand held, and the look in their eyes when they are so tired and want to go to sleep but don't want to leave because it's far too much fun hanging out! I miss those things when he isn't around, and I've learned to appreciate the simple things that I could so easily take for granted if he was around all the time .
Ive seen how blessed I am to be with someone who lovEs me for me and I don't feel once ounce of needing to be someone I am not! I love being able to talk about everything and anything without feeling fear of rejection. I think the fact that we were best friends before hand really helps. When someone has seen you for the past 5 years at your best and your worst ... You feel no pressure In being anything other than yourself. I love that.
We stayed up late talking about the future and this deployment many nights and its really hard. Too difficult at times to think about and I just push it in the back of my memory and only think about it at times when I really have to. But this weekend it was thrown into my face knowin that this was the last time for a really long time that I would get to enjoy all of this, and knowing how hard deployment was last time we did it is just kind of overwhelming. We did this a year ago and that Was difficult so I can only imagine how hard this next year is going to be. This is our last one... Thank goodness! I just want this year to fly by really fast! I think we both do!
I'm trying to find the positives in all of this , for I know it's no suprise to the lord that this is the situation we are in. I know he has us going through this and I know that I can trust him trough every step. It's just hard sometimes to see the finish line, but I know that the lord can and he knows what's best ! I know that the lord is going to do a work in us and our relationship in this coming yEar and I just ask that you would be praying for us! It is going to be rough for a while for the both of us and I know we could both use some encouragement!
I plan to put some pics up shortly of our trips and tell some good stories... One involving an almost bear attack... Haha some good stuff!
HopE you havE a great week! Don't forget to smile!

2011-04-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

My friend chelsey posted on her blog this little project that she stole from one of her other bloggy friends! i thought it was so fun and i couldnt pass it up! hope you enjoy doing it as much as i did!

PHOTO BOOK

1) someone i spend a lot of time with!

2) a photo of me

3) a picture of someone in my family....my papa baysul....one of my best friends

4) a picture of something that makes me happy......a good vanilla latte :)

5) an old picture of myself.......this was me 5 years ago

6) a photo of a sibling......me and my bro being retarded

7) a photo from highschool.......junior year

8) a photo of me and my significant other

9) a photo ive never posted before.....the day me and kayla accidently dressed the same

10) a photo of a relative........my grandma thorkelson

11) someone i can tell everything to....mom

12) everyday life......this is so typical

13) a photo from one of my favorite places.....del puerto canyon, one of the many reasons why i love this town i live in

14) a photo that reminds me of old times........spirit west coast..years ago

15) a picture from a great night!.......kaylas wedding

16) an unusual picture........dollar store find

17) my spare time.......i cook yummy meals

18) person closest to me....Phil

19) a picture of someone who is always there.....kayla

20) from a time i miss.....when everyone was home, and life was simple

21) a photo from last summer.........knee board time

22) a photo that makes me sad.......I miss you korre, you were taken too soon

23) a photo i always laugh about.....after bateman caught that stupid goose...he was so proud

24)a crazy picture......me and colleen playing in moms old 80's workout gear

25) latest picture of me........me and phil on the way home from carmel

26) a picture of my parents at my age......mama

27) a picture from the best days of my life....this is when it all started...

28) a photo from my favorite vacation...Hawaii at the Trump hotel...amazing

29) a photo of an accomplishment ...highschool graduation!

30) a picture i am satisfied with! ( sweet brynn when she was so little walking around with a helmet)

on a jet plane

2011-03-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

Im currently attempting to pack for my 5 day trip to texas, and quite frankly, for as simple as it sounds, packing is one of my most difficult tasks. Is it just me, or are there any other females out there who feel the need for like 5 outfit options for each day. haha its ridiculous. my 5 day pack job begins to look like i'm actually going to be moving to the place that i am just about to visit.
I get all stressed out thinking that i am going to go and that one thing i want to wear, i wont have, or that i will pack for warm weather and out of nowhere its going to be freezing. ...really its a problem and therefore i've packed to much. ...ugh, ill be working on it. but i doubt anything will change! haha

i'm excited about going though, its going to be a refreshing little getaway with some of my favorite people. one of the last big fun things we do before phil heads out to Afghanistan. I want it to be fun, and memerable in other ways than the last time i landed in austin. I'm hopeful that this trip will be much better!

Adios california, don't have too much fun without me!

2011-03-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

Sadly, i am stuck inside all day today. Like i've posted before the weather cannot decide what it wants to do. Its insanely windy today and the rain is coming down like its going to flood this whole little town. Insaannee. THerefore im going to stay inside all day....i need a new hobby.

Im going to texas next wednesday and am going to be gone until Sunday! I cannot wait. I've been in a little rut lately so its going to be good to have a change of scenery...and weather! apparently its been in the 80's and sunny. um lets just say i CANNOT wait! Last time i went to Texas to see phillip..it was a bust! a bust in the sense that the one person i went to see ended up not being able to be there. SO this time i am really excited to go and get to be with the one i actually go there to see. It should be exciting. We are staying at a cute little bed and breakfast with my mom and his mom..and are trying to plan some stuff that will be exciting for all of us. ....

besides all those ramblings this is something that the Lord has been laying on my heart lately and its just been something i've been thinking on throughout the day. during out sunday bible study we have been going through the book "instruments in the hands of the redeemer" and its been such a GOOD study. the lord has shown me so much of my heart through it and its been quite humbling to say the leaste. as we were going through, we read psalm 37:4 and its been something i've been thinking on since.

"delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart".

This verse at first glance may make one look at the lord as though he was some genie that if you love the lord he is going to give you everything you could ever want. But its so not that...its not that he is going to fulfill all these things that i already want..and all these things that i think i must have, but instead he is going to mold my desires and lay onto my heart the desires themselves.

in my heart i know there are things that i want..things i dream of, and honestly those things aren't bad. But its when i am willing to lay those things down with my hands open to the lord. my hands open to say that i am choosing to find my delight in the lord first and formost,and that these things that i think i want and hold onto, can be let go. when i come to him without expectations, and come to him without a list of selfish wants, only hoping to delight myself in the goodness that he is, i find that the very things of my heart change and the things i once thought i wanted begin to look so much different. They begin to reflect the work that has gone on in my heart. This work is changing my desire for things that will only bring delight to my self..and is molding my heart to finding my delight in him alone.

we were made to worship Christ alone...and the very time i try to pursue things apart from him i am going against what i was created to do..i am living a lie, living falsely in my world that i am trying to make. The only way that i am going to be able to truly find satisfaction and the only way that i am ever going to be content is when I and We find our delight in Christ alone. when I am delighting in him he is going to change those desires in my heart towards things that already reflect his will for my life and is going to change my desires to things that he will and already has accomlished.

I'm learning where to find my delight. I'm learning to trust the what the lord will's for me is best. theres contentment in the truths that he is enough, and that as i daily take delight in who he is, my heart is being molded and changed to have desires that will reflect my heart being layed open before him

dear california

2011-03-03T12:49:00.000-08:00

....I wish you would make up your mind about the weather, ok thanks!

sincerely your loving resident,
Melissa

I'm starting to get the itch for spring these last few days. The air has been crisp and the sun has been shining! These lovely hills that line our small town have started to burst with vibrant colors of green and all the wildflowers have started to bloom! I'm loving it! This is the thing though...the one thing im having a problem with! one day its supppperr nice outside, nice enough where a tee and jeans is oh so comfy, and then the next day you need to bundle up in a scarf and jacket! kinda killing me! I feel like the weather man has been teasing me all week....getting me all pumped for some lovely weather and then bam he's wrong and its raining outside. Hmmm. This is my little rant for the day.

but today, oh today, its wonderful outside. that sun i love so much is shining and i have a perfect iced vanilla latte in my hand. I am trying to think of something to do outside in this wonderful weather that is visiting patterson today...while it lasts. maybe ill go excersize and walk those hills that i love so much....or go walk the pup...we shall see.

enjoy today loves.

as if anthropologie couldnt get more fabulous

2011-02-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

....they have now come out with a bridal line! yeah! major drool worthy stuff over there....not exciting prices as always, but its still fun to look! check it out!!

http://www.bhldn.com/index.cfm

~Swoon~

February faves

2011-02-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

...Its the middle of February and therefore i thought i would share a few things that i have been loving this wonderful winter month!

1) Purity face cleanser
ok I have been obssessed with this stuff! in the winter my face seems to get super dry and this doesnt dry my face out at all! not only does it keep my skin soft, it also washes my makeup off like a gem! i only need a simple little squeeze on my palm of my hand and i am good to go! love this stuff!!

2)tall non-fat extra foam carmel macciatos from starbucks!
um ok theres not much else i can say about them besides the fact that i love them, and they are the perfect treat on a blistery winter day! i love the extra foam on these because they drizzle it with carmel and its just super yummy!!

3) BMW x3
ok ok so i actually dont have this car but i keep seeing all the commercials about it and i think its soooo cute....it makes me really want to go on a fun road trip. anyone want to buy it for me? ok thanks :)

4) scentsy!!!
ok i got this as a christmas present from one of my friends and i am in loveeee with it. you plug it into an outlit and turn on the light. you then stick a little fragrance wax block on the top of it and then it melts and makes your entire house smell magical! there are TONS of smells to pick from and they all smell amazing! love love love it! its awesome because you dont have to worry about a flame! just have to plug it in and flip a switch! its great and looks cute!

my best friends best day!

2011-02-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

Hello lovelies,
sorry i have been out of the loop for quite some time. there has been so much going on as of late that i just haven't had an opportunity to spend some much needed time on here. My best girl/former roommate Kayla just got hitched to her boyfriend of 7 years. their wedding was magical and so full of love.....and this post is going to be devoted to that awesome event. ...oh yeah i am also in the proccess of moving...which in of itself has proven to be quite the task.

On february 5, 2011 kayla was married at a wonderful little red church hidden within the cute woody village of Twaine Harte. the ceremony was surrounded by all of our dear friends and her family members. kaylas dad who is also our pastor performed the ceremony and did an awesome job as always, not only professing the love that kayla and Estevan have shared, but also the Love of Christ that even allows them to love one another . It went off without a hitch.

the reception was at the Sonora, ca Opera hall. it was decorated to perfection by a plethora of wine bottles, burlap, and whimsical tissue paper flowers and lanterns. all of the decorations were made by hand and were an awesome bargain. but when it was all said and done, it looked like a million bucks! We spent the rest of the night dancing our hearts away on the stage/dancefloor and spending time with our friends! It was such a blast!

i am so excited for my best friends! they are a beautiful couple and i wish them all the best!

vanilla scone goodness!

2011-01-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

am i the only one who is obsessed with Starbucks petite vanilla scones? They are magical with a cup of coffee...love them! i was trying to find a recipe that was similar to those little gems at the bucks, but i didnt think i would find anything that was really comparable.
I went in search for vanilla beans but those little guys are so expensive that i didnt want to buy them...7 bucks for 1 bean! really? no thanks. So i decided to forgo the vanilla beans and just found a recipe for straight vanilla scones. I came accross this one and its soo yummy! i made it once and then decided to make it again and decorate them in a valentines day them. Not only are they cute they are delicious!
both times i made them i had to bake them like 5 minutes longer than what the recipe calls for, so you all might want to do that as well! Enjoy!!

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold, cut into pieces
1 cup regular full-fat sour cream
1 large egg yolk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cup powdered sugar
water, as needed

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 deg. F.

Sift together dry ingredients in a medium bowl.

Using any method you prefer, cut the cold butter into the dry ingredients until flour resembles coarse meal, or use the following tip: The "grate" method: grate a block of cold butter against the large holes of a box grater. Toss the butter ribbons with the flour mixture, and then use two knives to cut the flour-coated ribbons into 1/4-inch pieces.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the sour cream, egg yolk and vanilla extract until blended. Add this to the flour-butter mixture and stir with a fork until dough forms a cohesive ball. Use a spatula to get the dry bits fully incorporated. (It may not seem to have enough liquid at first, but the dough will eventually come together.).

Place the sticky dough onto a parchment-lined (or ungreased) baking sheet and pat into a disk about 1-inch in height. Cut the dough into wedges but do not separate. Or scoop dough into a mini scone pan if available. (Yield will vary depending on how big you slice the wedges.).

Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown on top.

Prepare glaze while scones are baking.

GLAZE: Place powdered sugar in a medium bowl, and add water one teaspoon at a time, mixing vigorously until smooth and runny.

Use a pastry brush to apply a thin layer of glaze over the hot scones. Brushing rather than drizzling gives a smoother appearance and requires less glaze.

Serve immediately. Store cooled scones in an airtight container.

In search of!

2011-01-12T15:54:00.000-08:00

...I am in need of a Khaki or tan colored dress for my cousins wedding. we both have been searching and searching and have yet to find one that we love....and that's not ridiculously over priced! if any of you know of one, or have seen one, let me know!!

really winter....

2011-01-12T15:42:00.000-08:00

I havent seen the sun in days, its awful really. I am starting to wonder if i really do live in California. all these foggy and hazy skies are covering what is usually a beautiful winter afternoon. Im starting to feel cooped up in this little house of mine, and all I am wanting to do is go for a run outside....in shorts and a tank top....i want it to be summer...even spring would be nice.

I found out today that i tore a ligament in my ankle....therefore even if it was sunny i wont be running anytime soon. Awesome. It was the last day of my college "dance aerobics class" my teacher had us jumping off these aerobic steps, and clumsy ol me decides to jump off and land on the side of my ankle...i felt it pop and almost immediatley it was huge and swollen. It was an awesome way to end my fall semester....(joking aha). I went and got an x-ray that day and come to find out it wasnt broken..i thought for sure it must be because the pain was so bad. but no. so a month had gone by and it still is ugly and swollen. I went and got an MRI last week and come to find out I tore one of my ligaments completely in my left ankle . fantastic.
It is my best friends wedding so im hopping they dont make me wear one of those ridiculous boots, or try to put me in a cast. cause i am not about to be waking down the isle in one of those things. no thanks.

so this has been my week as of sunday. I'm huddled in my little house with a really jacked up ankle...going stirr crazy. sun please come out so i can do something with my life. ok thanks :)

hope your guy's days have been going a little bit better than mine.
xoxo

for you are inside of me.

2010-12-18T17:38:00.001-08:00

A live body is not one that never gets hurt, but one that can to some extent repair itself. In the same way a Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble — because the Christ-life is inside him, repairing him all the time, enabling him to repeat (in some degree) the kind of voluntary death which Christ Himself carried out.

That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or — if they think there is not — at least they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it.

C.S. Lewis

the civil wars

2010-12-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting to see The Civil Wars for some time now. its a duo comprised of Joy Williams and John Paul White and they are amazing. Although i was super excited to see them i never would have imagined how good they were live.
Joy is quirky and cute while J.P. is a southern gentlemen with the mysterious way about it that reminded me of Johnny Depp ( he also totally looked like him as well)
Their bluegrass/folky sound made my heart happy and did good to my soul. I also give them brownie points for not only being amazingly talented but they are also genuinely sweet people. joy came over to me right after the set and greeted me with a hug rather than a handshake, (we were standing in the front row only like 3 feet from them the whole set, and i think she noticed me singing along to all their songs haha) and took the time to talk with us for a good while. J.P. also came up to us, shook all of our hands and talked to us all about california, for it was this Alabamans first time being here. All i can say is that i left this show not being dissapointed in any sense, and could have listened to plenty more of their songs.
if you havent checked them out before i highly reccommend it!! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/thecivilwars

.....awake too early

2010-12-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

As i layed in bed last night i had excitement in my chest knowing that i was able to sleep in this morning. after days of having to wake up at 6am(thats super early for me) I was stoked to just be able to fall in my amazing bed, and not wake up until my little body chose to. i was excited until this little body of mine decided to wake up at around 7:30am. Um yeah an extra hour of sleep wasnt really what i was going for. just to be defiant to myself i layed in bed till 8 and then got bored so i got up. why is it that i always get up early on those days when i actually CAN sleep in ...beats me.

i walked out of my dark room and into our living room full of christmas cheer and twinkling lights! I love how cozy our house is feeling these days. its full of holiday spirit and i love it. It just makes me want to stay home more....which i suppose is a good thing. i sat around for a bit..just cause i could for once, and then decided to go up to starbucks and grab one of those glorious drinks in the perfectly red cups!

oh coffee, how you make me happy. I dont know what it is about that little brown drink, but seriously it brings joy in my life. as me and my girlfriends like to say "everything is so much more fun when you have a latte in your hand" ...addicts much? haha i am thinking so. i got my coffee and enjoyed my morning.

although i didnt want to get up this morning....i guess it was quite lovely after all.

a winter wonderland

2010-12-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

its very unusual that i would have a friday off, and even more unusual for all of my closest friends to have the day off as well. Since we all were free we decided to spend the day together doing something fun and random. since bateman had never been to yosemite, we decided to drive the 1.5 hours (so not far) and go to one of the most beautiful places!
after countless shania twain and john mayer songs were sung, we made it to the park and it was absolutely gorgeous. I hadnt been to yosemite in the winter time in a REALLY long time, long enough to where i didnt even remember what it was like. But it was awesome. The air was crisp and cold, and there was tons of snow on the ground! A nice change of pace from the valley. I could have stayed all day!

and the stockings were hung on the chimney with care!!

2010-12-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

This year is the last year Kayla, Jessica, and I will live in our little house. Me and kayla knew that we wanted to go all out this year and make our house a fun, girlie, christmas dream! last year Kayla got me a subscription to "Better homes and Gardens" and this year it was full of amazing inspirations for the holidays! We found a tutorial on how to make these awesome ornaments made with both felt as well as card stock. The other day we spend all afternoon making our ornaments, and then spent the whole evening decorating and rearranging out house for the season! I love the way it turned out. all the lights makes our house feel so cozy, and the pink, greens,and reds make our house so inviting. I love it and wish it could look this festive all year long!

some sweet memories

2010-10-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

Cannot believe we have lived in the house for over a year now. its been such a fun place to live with some of my best friends! Its like having a slumber party every night. Kayla is getting married soon leaving us...and therefore we are no longer going to be living here. its a bitter sweet thing. i was just browsing through all my pictures seeing all the fun things that we have done while living here and it made me smile! Its been a good ride girls! love you

2010-09-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

Love this wedding!

I love everything about this. Like most girls i dream of my wedding day. Mine dream just so happens to be located in a barn. I love how romantic this is....I love all the lights, the fireplace..the barn.its Heaven.

I've stalked and found out that this location is in Sonora, Ca....not far at all! ....hmmm maybe this dream could become a reality someday.

Obsessed much..

2010-09-28T09:19:00.000-07:00

ok so seriously in love with Peonies.
like a dork for months i looked up how to grow them/ take care of them (i dream of having a garden full of them)....i was all excited about my prospects of looking out my window and seeing all my beautiful flowers in bloom....but then by the time i actually got motivated enough to buy/plant the bulbs...its now Fall and its the wrong time for me to do it. BUMMER. so now i just have to lust over these beauties.....love!

....I'm Back

2010-09-28T09:00:00.001-07:00

Hello Friends!!
After months and months of not posting....out of laziness really, i decided to get back into the whole blogging thing....i've missed it really.
to catch everyone one up.....this has been my life as of late..

*school is back in full swing, and i'm "dealing" with it. Although in general i really dont enjoy going to school..at all, this semester actually hasn't been too bad. I get to school and leave as soon as possible, and so i feel like i'm not there as much. never have i been one to hang around campus just for the heck of it, or post myself up in the library to study...nope just not my style. I'd rather study while sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in my hand, blanket, and comfy clothes on.

* work.....I've been working up at Diablo Grande golf and country club for the past few months. I pretty much have a love hate relationship with the place. I LOVE the location, nestled in the hills right on the edge of town in the middle of a beautiful canyon. Every single day i am surrounded by loads of dear, cotton tail bunnies, huge oak trees, and the most beautiful birds. theres a sense of solitude being up there. The 10 minute drive up a curvy road leads me to this little gem, where theres no cell phone servive, and beauty is every where. I honestly love that.
Dislike: I've realized alot about the world working up there. Its all about money, and status, and it honestly makes me sick sometimes. I stand behind the bar (im a waitress...not bartender) and watch the same people day and day out, trickle in and have their 5 classes of wine and talk about how much they have accomplished and blah blah blah. but really what does your huge house, your nice car, and great job bring you...its fading and momentary gain, that really in the scope of things means nothing. it pains me to see so many ...many whom i've come to love the company of, falling into the trap of chasing after the wind. Its everywhere up there, and i know thats what the world is full of, but i feel like being up there, its just in my face every day and i've been really just seeing it lately. It saddens me, but also encourages me to be bold and share what i know to be truth. ...i know that as i make myself availiable the lord can use me in a great way up, there and i am excited.

I believe....

2008-09-18T17:12:00.000-07:00

I believe good coffee can brighten anyone's day (mine at least), that music can tell alot about the person who's listeing to it. That no matter how fat carbs are going to make me, i will always love them and eat lots ! I think the office is one of the best pieces of viewing material availiable, that magazines are only good for their pictures and fashion ads, and that irish accents are amazing. I believe that the smell of rain is wonderful, that there is something about sundays that is perfect, and there seems to not be enough hours in one day. I know that the lord loves me more than i deserve, That i dont thank him nearly enough, and he continues to amaze me every day. I think Candles brighten my life, and make me happy, that my cat jack is the most amazing one on the planet, and to stop biting your nails is much harder than it seems. I think holding hands is one of the best ways to show affection, that a smile can make someone's day, and that naps are wonderful. I believe backrubs are probably one of my favorite things on this planet, that flip flops are better than shoes, and apple juice makes me feel like a kid again. I think my Grandfather is one of the most amazing human beings i know, that his humility has taught me much about myself, and his character is one that i could only hope to possess. I believe that Photos and journals are wonderful for documenting this journey, that a girl can NEVER have too many lipglosses, and that sometimes its just fun to dance. I know that Disneyland will never get old, that no matter how hard I try i will never be 5'9", and I am in love with a boy who makes me smile. I believe that the Lord uses certain things to grow us, even if we dont understand it at the time, That his love is extravagent and we should share that same love with others. I think dreams are funny to remember, that sitting down with old friends is refreshing, and that laughing could very well be the best kind of medicine. I believe that the moon and the stars are tiny reminders of gods power and love for us, that his greatness is bigger and better than i will ever be able to fathom, And That i have been blessed beyond measure

Say Cheese

2007-07-17T12:39:00.000-07:00

This blog will be a little Less deep, well its not deep at all haha! Its just something that gave me a little chuckle.
Today i had to go to my school and take my senior picture for the yearbook! yeah i was a little weirded out myself.....i dont feel like a senior. anyways, thats not the point. haha! so i was in my kackis and collared shirt and i go into the cafeteria (this is where the photo stuff was set up). and the guy who was taking my picture was just like DEB from Napoleon Dynamite. I thought i was going to die. not that he looked like her.....but his whole demeanor matched hers so perfectly. it was pretty awkward, being as though i was the only person in the whole cafeteria with him....yeah. so he makes me sit on thhis like step ladder since he forgot the stool. and he tells me my pose. he kept saying everything ever-so softley...like Deb would have done during her" glamour shots" hha. he would be like "ok now tilt your head a little left, a little more..perfecccctt. now put your hair behind your shoulders...a little more...peerrfeecct. this is gonna look good. noww move your hands a little bit more...more...perrrffeeecctt. K now big smiillee. ...perrfeecct" haha i thought i was going to die. I bet he thought i was a very very happy person cause i dont think that huge smile left my face the whole time. i mean i usually am a very happy person..but that just took me over the edge haha!
anyways i just wanted to share that little story with you. have a blessed day friends! I love you...yes you!

undeserved privilege

2007-07-05T21:30:00.001-07:00

therefore, since we have been made right in god's sight by faith, we have peace with god because of what jesus Christ our lords has done for us. Because of our faith, christ has brought us into this place of UNDESERVED PRIVILEGE where we now stand, and we confidentley and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory.
we can rejoive too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurane. and endurance develops strength of character, and character strenthenss our confident hope of salvation, and this hope will not lead to disappointment. for we know how dearly god loves us, because he has given us the holy spirit to filll our hearts with this love.
When we were utterly helpless, chirst came at just the right time and died for us sinnerers now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someoneone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending chirst to die for us while we were still sinners. and since we have een made right in gods sight by the blood of christ, he will certainltey save us from god condemnation, for since our friendship with god was restored by the death of his sone while we were still his enemies, we will certainley be saved through the life of his son. so now we can rejouice in our wonderful new relationship with god becasue our lord jesus christ has made us friends of God.

Romans 5:1-11